Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for an interview at a great company. Everything was going well until I tried to demonstrate my knowledge of their industry by using a technical term. Turns out I'd completely misunderstood the term and used it in the wrong context. The interviewer raised an eyebrow, and I could see "Don't call us, we'll call you" flicker in their eyes. FML
Today, I finally got an interview with my dream company. Everything went perfectly until the interviewer asked if I had any questions. I tried to say, "What do you enjoy most about working here?" Instead, I somehow asked, "Why do you still work here?" FML
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML
Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML
Today, I called a possible employer I had an interview with about a week ago to see if I had got the job that I have already been trained for. Her response? "Are you sure I interviewed you?" FML
Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML
Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML
Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML
Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML
Today, I had an interview for a pretty interesting job. Everything was going smoothly until I referred to their company by the wrong name, not once, but three times. They politely corrected me each time, but I could see the resentment in their eyes, especially because it was the name of their main competitor. I probably won't be getting the job, huh? FML
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Top comments
fatgothchick 0
Internationale Büro-Maschinen how the heck should anyone know
Overcast117 5
International Business Machines, but who cares?
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Comments (184)
StingRay1971 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol I don't even know what it stands for. that shouldn't mean shit.
Sparkey 0
If you apply for a job there, it really does help if you know what the company is called.
Kristoffer 35
If you're applying for a job at IBM, you should know what their full name is. International Business Machines. If you didn't know that, then you didn't do nearly as much research as you claim.
pwclacrosse 0
I agree ... except it is International Business Machines Corporation. They (we) ask it at just about every interview - and tons of people get it wrong and still get hired.
Darkon 0
Imperfect But Marketable! Did you know HAL was derived from IBM just one letter less each character.
christopherlove 0
That HAL thing is a coincidence, according to Arthur C. Clarke, author of the novel.
brkn_hearted 0
same here number 1, all i knew was that they had computers that were supposed to be top notch machines when i was in gradeschool, but they totally sucked balls, don't know if they've improved their shit or not, but idk. and #'s 97, 100, and 101... SHUT THE HELL UP!!! WHO CARES HOW OLD YOU CLAIM TO BE, CHANCES ARE YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN YOUR 30'S STILL LIVING IN THE BASEMENT OF YOUR MOM'S HOUSE AND SHE STILL PICKS OUT YOUR CLOTHES FOR THE NEXT DAY AND LAYS THEM OUT ON YOUR BED!!!! DO YOU SLEEP WITH A NIGHTLIGHT TOO!?!?!? and who the hell cares if you know what ibm stands for? i bet you don't know that laser is actually an acronym!!!
humorizer 14
HAL: Hardware Abstraction Layer. I suppose I do feel bad for you for not knowing what IBM stood for; I mean I know what it is, but I'm a geek (I also know HP, which surprisingly most people don't know; and most people don't know where "Dell" comes from). Anyhow, I'm not hear to brag that I know obscure terms; I work at CVS, and one of the first things I asked after getting hired was what it stood for (I was too lazy to check on my own). The boss didn't know but made a guess. I ended up finding out the real answer from the reader's manual. (Consumer Value Store). I'd have been really screwed if he had done a test on me. But then again, IBM requires company knowledge since it's high tech; with CVS, no one cares. It's like asking a Walmart employee what the "Wal" in Walmart is for. (The creator of the chain is named Sam Walton).
foryoublue94 0
wow. who cares?? @#102
easylazy 0
Intensive ******* Machine?
AUT_student 0
Arthur C. Clarke more directly addressed this issue in his book The Lost Worlds of 2001: "As is clearly stated in the novel (Chapter 16), HAL stands for Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer. However, about once a week some character spots the fact that HAL is one letter ahead of IBM, and promptly assumes that Stanley and I were taking a crack at the estimable institution ... As it happened, IBM had given us a good deal of help, so we were quite embarrassed by this, and would have changed the name had we spotted the coincidence." But good try.... OP - you should still be sweet, it's just one of those throw-away questions, and if you don't get the job over that, you probably weren't going to anyway. Bet you'll know for next time, eh??
Heelix 0
I always thought it was 'Intercontinental Balistic Missile'
maggy_fml 0
actually #102 i'm on an IBM laptop right now. it's one of the best companies. it can fall a million times and still be good as new. noob. and you seem to be exactly how you described the other person xD what a loser/hypocrite
tzecco 2
That's ICBM
davidtheday 0
That's ICBM
bluesclues72 0
lmao
twinscrplayer6 0
lol
starberries 0
#83, the company is named International Business Machines Corporation, but IBM stands for International Business Machines. You can tell because it's not IBMC.
lilmisslovely13 15
#104 i know what HP means too! "Harry Potter"!!!
TheTweaker 0
I don't know what IBM stands for either, then again, I'm not trying to get a job there.
epochfail 6
That would be ICBM
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
ICBM mate, intercontinental counts as two separate words in the acronym. Nice try though :P
T1A2Z3 35
I asked someone who worked for KBC what it stood for and they didn't know.
fatgothchick 0
Internationale Büro-Maschinen how the heck should anyone know
FMLandurstoo 9
it stands for Ihavea Boner Men
Bella_is_my_name 4
LMAO @165
foodlord 5
I bang men
Corrupt_waffles 13
Little known fact: IBM sold their computers to Nazi's to use to catalogue the people in their concentration camps and the items they stole from said people. IBM is also an American company.
Overcast117 5
International Business Machines, but who cares?
Dogmaw 0
Amen.
MonkeySpeaks 4
They ask for the simple reason of they want to know the person did their homework. They want to know the person actually researched the company an d understands the company. If you don't know what the acronym stands for for a company you are working for you are showing you didn't dedicate your time. Its a simple weed out process. BTW you're insulting a major corporation. Who do you think knows what they are doing. You? or the Fortune 500. Hmm lets think. A random kid on Fmylife, OR.... The 15th largest company in the US. Think think think. Oh yes, I think IBM wins this one. Let this be a lesson to everyone trying to apply to a corporate position. Know your shit. Everything, even the mundane. You aren't special to them and you need to make yourself special during that interview. You may think its silly and trivial to know when the company started, or what the name means, or how many employees work there, but to them? its a source of pride. If you can't show pride for a position you are applying to, then they won't hire you. It's simple.
Hich17 0
Hard to be proud of something you're not even involved with yet. It's like... thinking you're a big man for having a crush on a hot girl. NO, you're a big man if she's actually your girlfriend.
saint_cypher 0
MonkeySpeaks just because a company is a Fortune 500 member doesn't inherently mean they know what they are doing. examples: General Motors (Fortune #4) Merrill Lynch (Fortune #30) Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac (53 and 54 respectively) IBM hasn't used 'International Business Machines' in their corporate branding for some time. The name itself fails to recognize a couple of IBM's major markets namely, consumer electronics and supercomputing. As far as the rest of those interviewing techniques they are also flawed heuristics. Such questions prove only that the candidate prepared for standard business school inspired interviewing tactics. They do not prove out an actual skill of qualification.
shimmer576 3
I know what it means and I'm 13 but probably because my dad tells me everyday he works there
jhowser 0
Hahaha I don't know either, but maybe you should have read up on it? xD
FYIW 0
who cares: ? obviously the people who work there should care.
gogg3r 0
Concur with #3. Note to self: Include the point of figuring out the company's acronym definition into extensive research and preparation before interview.
FPsLife 5
I didn't know until I interned there... She was probably just trying to be clever to find a way to eliminate people. Go find a competitor!
nike1 0
It can mean several things :) -Irish Medicines Board -International Mission Board -International Business Machines hehe, don't worry, i looked it up on google. :P
fmylifedotcomm 0
#8 2 of the things you put don't even fit with the IBM acronym. they spell out IMB.
LordOfTheHobos 0
Little known fact: The Irish switch up the second and third words in all acronyms.
Vile_fml 0
No we don't. Irish Medicine Board is the IMB, not IBM.
fortytwo 0
http://www.imb.ie/ 41 is an idiot.
DizzyDemon0 9
you sir(#52)..are the idiot..not 41. Pretty sure you are the only one who didn't pick up on the joke there. good job :)
threecardmonty 2
I thought he was serious. I assumed it was some translation issue from Gaelic for a few seconds before deciding that the Irish have probably been speaking English for quite some time now...
drimpossible 0
"I thought he was serious. I assumed it was some translation issue from Gaelic for a few seconds before deciding that the Irish have probably been speaking English for quite some time now..." Grrrr. Nobody in Ireland calls it Gaelic... the term is Irish.
blitzer_tidus 0
Interviewing 101: Research the company you are trying to get a job with before the interview. Questions like this are commonplace, and I'm not too surprised it was asked, especially with a company that's been around as long as IBM. YDI.
RyeBreadBoy 0
I agree... obviously your research wasn't quite as extensive as you claimed if it didn't even extend to learning the actual NAME of the corporation you'd like to work for. I think that's a perfectly logical question for them to ask. Did you at least make something up?
TheAmazing_fml 0
iron bun machine? get ur ass muscles ripped! but make sure the next job u apply for u no wut the company name means.