Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend promised me to cook dinner if I picked him up from work, almost 100 km and 2-hour drive. I did this even though I worked the night shift yesterday and had to today and normally have to sleep a lot. But no, after we got home, he fell asleep and was still sleeping and snoring when I had to go. FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, my boyfriend begged me to spend an extra night at his house. I agreed, cancelled my Uber, and arranged for my pets to be cared for, since I wasn't coming home. Five minutes later, he decided that he had to work tonight instead. Then he got angry at me for leaving. FML
Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
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Top comments
crudeandrudeguy 29
Wake his ass up!!! No ******* way do you let him not suffer with you. Lol
pjsr 33
No guy I know minds being woken up for sex!
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Comments (8)
crudeandrudeguy 29
Wake his ass up!!! No ******* way do you let him not suffer with you. Lol
pjsr 33
No guy I know minds being woken up for sex!
draghkar 18
“Why’d you wake me up? For sex?” is something I can’t imagine ever saying. Unless he took an Ambien. Then it might get weird.
RichardPencil 32
Good thing you didn’t wake him up. For most guys, sex isn’t very important, but we highly value our sleep. A good night’s sleep makes us feel handsome and confident the next day, and that’s the most important thing. He probably begged you to come over, tuck him in, and leave him in peace.
Lobby_Bee 18
With a little touching and a little kissing, you'll get them up. Both little guys.
EnvyMe33 26
You need to take what's owed to you besides once you start going down on him he will wake up in no time. Also calm down people, you can't rape the willing...
jbuckets_404 39
OP, tell him that you'll start looking for a new BF the next time his bullsh*t happens again!
secsiib 6
U should of wake his as$ up.. that's what I do.. r surprise him downstairs aka down there..