Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
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Comments (144)
OneToughChick 13
Wear a condom?? Takes two ya know.
jakeysmom 12
Unless you see the pills and even see her take them, don't take her word. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong :-)
KevinGT97 9
at least Your child won't get fever hay.
superjewguy 19
congrats are in order......but ydi for not being specific and please remind urself daily that mother of your child thought u meant hay fever and wasnt smart enough to know what is universally known as "the pill". again congrats tho
askullnamedbilly 33
"Are you on the pill?" is already specific enough unless you're talking to a complete moron.
Willibobs 33
did she bollocks haha
belljars 22
"Just call me daddy!!" -Patrick Star
TheDrifter 24
Fell for the oldest trap known to man. Sorry op, but she's got you now. Hopefully everything works out between you two and remember, some of the world's best parents never expected to be parents.
outoftown 27
Only after a DNA test to confirm the child is OP's. If she's dishonest enough to trick him into pregnancy, she's dishonest enough to stick him with another man's child. In either case, why should OP stick with a dishonest partner? If she lies about something this important, she'll lie about other things she wants.
randomkat820 8
condoms, end of.YDI
Saraishi 25
Yes, because they sound so alike.
atlandon 3
you know that's why there's this other neat thing called condoms