Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML
Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML
Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML
Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML
Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML
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Top comments
WikedWaffle 0
Dude be happy cheese is amazing!!!!!!!
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
Was it very cheesy ?
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Comments (251)
edoht 5
FYL. I know how you feel.
Bill3485 3
youve also had a girl compare her love to you to cheese via text message?
WTSchool 0
They must have the same stalker.
L3Paparazzo 7
cheese = yummy
xoconnie 8
thats just weird. call the cops and change ur #. what a freak. YDI for letting her find out ur number tho dude.
Friaza 29
Just wait till she finds out how much fat that cheese has in it, heh heh.
maskedman 9
Looks like everyone has these problems. Maybe I should say everyone has cheese problems. Lactose intolerant!
fakeaccountX 6
Look sharp. This might turn into a muenster of a situation.
goebsy 8
"You're so scrumptious...like cheese. I could nibble you alllllll day."
xoconnie 8
41, for gods sake its a STALKER!!!!!! WTF
enonymous 9
"Dear Say cheese, today I found myself think about you and your cottage cheese thighs which aroused me...and the smell of bleu cheese reminded of me of your jock strap, Ty btw I'm glad you left it for me in your locker, your teeth with a fine Gouda smell, Monterey jack taste and Swiss cheese appearance... Finally brought a smile to me which allowed me to fap all night long Sharply yours - Rebecca Black"
Laurenlou 24
Cheese, Cheese, the magical food! The more you eat the less you poop! OP- She's an odd one. I'm sorry your stalker isn't like, beautiful and amazing. :( Haha. At least she isn't threatening you! It could be worse!
FarSide 23
I am betting a weird person like that is fond of Velveeta or Cheeze Whiz.
MILFSaregood 7
Tell her you like the cheese under her flaps and that you and her like the same things;)
Jdeluxh 12
78- "Cheese under her flaps"? I think whoever you had slept with was diseased.
RainbowHeadache 2
Tell her it's either you or the cheese. She can only have one love. If she loves cheese more hopefully she'll just go away.
MILFSaregood 7
No she was just really ******* loose haha
PutItIn 8
Say "Sorry, I'm lactose intolerant. It'll never work."
mlebethbear 0
tell her "we can't be together! our love is shredded!
GoodLookingGeese 10
It's funny how it looks different from each others point of view. For her's you are her lovely crush and she dreams about you - from yours, she's a stalker and gives you a headache. It's sociologically very interesting. But don't we a pussy - stand up! and talk to her - tell her about your feelings.
n_epic_fail 14
relish in the fact that someone loves u that much, I'd rather have a love filled stalker than a blood thirsty stalker.... just saying
Trololololololo_fml 7
OP's username, WIN
afroking22 0
Hey wats up
Monii_Harlz 11
Just say "I'm allergic to cheese! :/ maybe in my next life we could have a better chance to be together"
ILUVMSC 5
The ****?? What a weirdo..
airjordan6_fml 1
You=yummy
WikedWaffle 0
Dude be happy cheese is amazing!!!!!!!
livlafluv100 2
I agree this is not an fml!
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
OP that's a cheesy situation...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Y thx u u troll I love it
EnEl_Infierno 15
Bet its not easy being chessy. God that was so cheesy. IDI.
flagg1888 3
I could write 12 pages just on cheese alone
kelsey_katie 17
Hell yes.
snowdrift 6
Two things. Totally favorited this and uhm,, do I smell a restraininh order?(:....nope..just cheese;) Ps: SHE'S A KEEPER... You can have kids:,) possible names: mozerella, parmesian, pepper jack, swiss... (and so on, please forgive my spelling mistakes)
snowdrift 6
Restraining* whoopsie(:
FuckOffNoob 6
I like the mozzarella name :)
woahbro2slow 0
well at least she just doesn't want to get in your pants, OP :)
tuckerharbaugh 0
boo. get off stage.
TheNewGuy03 29
Hey, think of the positives -- at least she doesn't want OP's bread. Or does she...?
False_Stupidity 42
She wants your cheese between her bread?... ;)
dzhonatan 14
Curd cheese?
fugachumi 0
His name is say cheese lmao
fatraptorjesus13 9
you realize none of these r their useenames... they give you an option to type anything in so most Ppl make jokes
loserman67 36
or turd cheese
friedpwnadge 25
OP, do you know how many guys would jump over hurdles to have a girl desire them like that? Tap it and run.
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
Was it very cheesy ?
dickydickman 0
Fromunda cheese
Poopolicious 5
maybe she talking about the cottage cheese coming out from her private area.. and ow much she loves it like she loves you
CHizzy963369 3
As cheesey as your joke?
FuckOffNoob 6
cheese curds are amazing!!
shake_my_head 2
129 - took my response. :/
Raori 25
Tap that. Give her some more 'cheese' to think about.
jaint 0
Well if she likes cheese so Much she probably fat so you don't gotta worry bout her following you around xD
poostool 5
Throat yogurt. Dairy, but not cheese.
crazychick1269 7
or if shes fat she won't chase after u when you run away from her:)
hailphire130 0
Trying to think of a pun for this... Any suggestions?
hailphire130 0
Oh wait I know. Sounds like she's fondue of you. No? Alright.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Cut off the of you part, and you might just be a stand-up comedian one day!
hailphire130 0
Damn it. I was trying to, but it sounded strange without the of.
jking54 0
That's one cheesy love note :D
Narwhal234 6
She loves him dairy much.
qtipthemighty 0
No, that's a little too cheesey
Narwhal234 6
That stalker is a munster.
soundandshock 0
I posted "tell her you'd Brie happier as her Gouda friend"
Bill3485 3
can you post it somewhere for us to see and link us? sounds like something id actually read!
goldenlocks22 6
I was thinking the same thing, has me interested!
cupcakegirl93 8
Tell her : "if I give you cheese will you leave me alone?"
smartypants96 3
Lol
laceyanneman 7
I really don't see how that was funny but I'll respect it because of all the thumbs up:)
cupcakegirl93 8
I wasn't trying to be funny, I was suggesting a solution... But I'm glad some people liked the comment or even found it Funny lol
xOashleymarie 0
How romantic...
drealmorales 2
That is very cheesy, sit
drealmorales 2
*sir
nixter5 18
I'm sitting, I'm sitting!!