Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
incorporate them
Mirorbo 27
Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!
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Comments (195)
imustbeinsane 2
incorporate them
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
That's a messy orgy
yummycupkake 0
you're a dog for having sex in a Pet Shop
nmearayta 0
I'm more of a snake guy myself
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Op, you couldn't even wait till you got off work? You could have web done it in your car. No self control.
ashtin85 0
how romantic......
KingGeorgeGal 12
I honestly don't know how this is a FML , I saw I in moderate and I voted no because it's just dumb. It's not like you got caught and you deserved it for not locking the cage.
ollierobs 0
I guess they wanted to **** like rabbits.
dolphincheddar 10
that's super kinky. teach me your ways oh great one
iSitt 0
if they had waited till they got to the car, he would have written an fml about getting arrested.
whiskuit 0
Salamanders are slimy.
shannonreneee 11
Male salamanders drug and rape the females.
musiclexii124 0
Really.. a PET STORE!? Do you not have a bedroom?
scrapmetal58 9
Who let the Salamanders out? Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak! (For this song salamanders squeak.)
Its_A_Trap 0
I want squeaking pet salamanders.
GCr4ck3rs 6
Why was a salamander cage in the janitors closet?
MissBoo101 0
more of rightly interrupted, I was going nuts tying to figure out my my dogs keep humping! you scarred them!!!!
rawrlily 0
Leapin' lizards!
jaint 0
salamanders FTW ?
bluekid7 5
mammals can't have all the fun
SadinSherman 16
When I first saw your picture,I thought she was were pancakes on her head.
Mau5Trap 0
#153 but she is.....
dchico22 0
ydi for being stupid
Epsilonyx 15
Are you stupid or are you just stupid?
btown1616 0
hey be nice... he's just trying to be kinky ;)
Perksofbeingawal 0
I think he's both actually.
RainbowHeadache 2
I was thinking the same thing, 3. Though, would he have still said he was "rudely" interrupted if it had been his boss who had walked in on him? (or crawled up his leg.)
kkspears 0
ha!!!!
pinkietuskadaro 0
kkspears wat is that a picture of
Jacobt24 19
it looks like a scratch drawing of a giraffe
MQ_was_here 0
YDI for various reasons but top one being why the janitor's closet? LUH-me.
master_blaster 0
I think the real question would be why NOT, the janitors closet.
Mirorbo 27
Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!
yummycupkake 0
I dont think they could wait and make it to the bedroom. better there then the car lmao ;)
jrmetz 0
6- where's your sense of adventure?? Lol
Jacobt24 19
What's with all the FML's about sex in public?
Mirorbo 27
jrmetz -- I have plenty of sense of adventure. My sense just doesn't require getting it on in public. I find it a lot more romantic in the bedroom, and a lot more comfortable. Then again, I'm not a horny teenager who thinks that they need a high score for banging.
kelixo24 0
the car's windows would fog up like in the titanic.
jrmetz 0
6- A.) Neither am I, far from being a teenager, much less a horny one... B.) I was half just messin with ya, so lighten the hell up; I honestly don't care where people choose to have sex ... C.) I'm not sure how sex in a janitors closet surrounded by salamanders is 'public'
iSpasticFantasti 14
123 - Hey, totally normal teenager here is a bit offended. >;(
atkehre 0
get em 152! haha
DatDudeChrisR 2
YDI for nothing paying attention
chaoticnh 0
"for nothing paying attention"? -_- smh
barlessprison 16
Yeah obviously he deserves it for committing such a blasphemous act. I mean what was he thinking by not being on the lookout for an army of salamanders while having sex??
blondie1208 17
I think you mean "for not paying attention"
thrAsHeRr9081 16
No shit, 64.
corrinaswan 0
haha 99
CallMeHush 1
Kinky, I would have finished.
00SPRANGER00 0
...kinky
00SPRANGER00 0
...kinky
hunterrrc 5
that's a turnoff
marcyfrances 4
is this pic in Boston hunterc?
footballtracksta 0
* turn on
Freeze_fml 17
Lots of things crawled up your legs that day.
ant1078 7
either they were loving the show or they felt the need to stop u guys coz it was soo horrid D: