thelunarwolf
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Helen
Pine Bluff, United States
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
rachaaaaeul
United States
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
France
Explain yourself
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
TheOtherWoman
United States
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Party animal
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
sober
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Girl…
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Carpet cleaner
Canada
Wait for the hangover
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Anonymous
Groningen, Netherlands
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
U...
Dude, chill out
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Username
United States
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
Top comments
Southerndatageek 2
Who has a serious conversation like that via text?
safetyword 0
YDI for trying to have a serious conversation via text.
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Comments (131)
ptxace 0
Nice.
Qluz 3
free hugs?! i need some loving :(
jonan1212 5
NO! he's gonna eat you!
juliahockey 0
well, atleast he isn't drugged....
coderedz 0
she drove him to drinking. at least drinking is a wee bit better than drugs, and it's legal ;-)
bonicr 0
"serious conversation over text" That is all I heard.
MissBunny25 0
you heard that ??? wow.. you must have an awesome phone / computer.. I could only read it. :(
MaximilianMarche 0
yeah youre way behind bi*ch. get the new smart phone. theyre calling it the smartass
ZeeBest86 6
to the people who didn't associate alcohol with drugs, you may want to do a little research on a list of the top ten most lethal drugs for any human being. alcohol is generally number 4 or 5. Just because it's socially acceptable wherever u reside doesn't make it less harmful for you and the people around you. http://www.bukisa.com/articles/269114_the-most-dangerous-drugs
VladAlex 0
:D love that app
soccerchickrocks 0
then don't try to tell him over text dipshit
CruelHumor 0
Im sorry, i wont do it again:( Today my wife was trying to make me stop using drugs by text. I dont remember s#!t
Temi25 6
texts are never serious
Southerndatageek 2
Who has a serious conversation like that via text?
Hanimon 0
IKR, who does that
afdude87 6
was thinking the same thing...
Yaqui_fml 9
Exactly. There can be no "serious conversations" had through texting.
Erlkonig_fml 0
I agree 100%...If you use text messages to carry on "serious conversations" with your SPOUSE of all people, you deserve what you get because you're an IDIOT! I would guess if you just grow the **** up, he just might start listening to what you have to say...
laurabev 9
My exact thoughts. YDI OP.
techweed 12
I wanted to post that, oddly enough, word for word
grinch302 0
I was thinking just that
Exhausti 0
Oviously your fault.. You shoul care more about him!
killedmyteacher 0
your a real ******* idiot you stupid Niger! How can you blame her? you don't live their, you don't know how much time she spends with him. he just made some bad choices doing drugs.
mintcar 10
He's a Niger? As in the third-longest river in Africa? You sound stupid, I would stop name calling if I were you.
dansco 25
Spot the error "serious discussion over text"? Text ffs!!! Try talking to him, more likely to listen and he came home drunk so he's not high ;)
kaprookie 3
Well einstein, guess what alcohol is a drug, retard.
kornhead09 0
I don't know the textbook definition of drug but I doubt alcohol falls under it
chrstygrl06 10
Lmfao! Of course alcohol is a drug!!
chippa 24
How can you even second guess whether alcohol is a drug? That's not lack of education, that's just sheer stupidity. Of course it is a drug. Grow a brain.
DjeePee 25
Alcohol is even a harddrug.
love_me_electric 20
I would rather someone I loved came home stoned than drunk. At least pot doesn't make people act like obnoxious pricks (That I've seen anyways) and it's a lot less dangerous.
ohSNAPyall 27
56 OP is prob not talking about weed.
T3P33_fml 0
maybe he needed the boose to have a serious text conversation with OP...
YayaInLalaLand 0
Who the hell stages a mini-intervention over text? I'm sure you care about your husband, which is why you need to get his loved ones and TALK, not text.
safetyword 0
YDI for trying to have a serious conversation via text.
padlarf 14
When I read that I instantly clicked YDI
ambowew 7
Your texting pushed him into a drinking sesh. Shame on you!
missryena 1
Agreed! You don't have a serious convo thru text, if ya really cared about the situation u would've sat down with him and talked face to face.
I_R_Genius 3
Hmmm, I don't know if I should let this one go or not? By the way, does anyone know what "thru" means by any chance? I thought it was always through?
chippa 24
Yes, "thru" is shorthand for "through," Genius.
Erlkonig_fml 0
Did you seriously just try to play "Undercover Grammar Nazi" while proudly wearing a username of "I_R_Genious"? I understand the attempt of wit through irony, but in my book you just look like a dolt...
I_R_Genius 3
Apparently no one has sarcasm anymore. *facepalm* You must be new here #54, so please don't try and act smart when you're really not.
mintcar 10
THRU is the informal, simplified spelling of the word through. Look it up in the dictionary.
fearthereaper79 0
At least he wasn't high