Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML
Today, I was stuck in the ICU with my 10 month-old. They spent more than an hour and multiple pricks to get a vein for cannula. I had to endure and hold him down through all of it. Half and hour later, he promptly smeared poop all over his cannula bandage area during a diaper change. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
should of slathered him in pepto.
iheartkanye 8
Shit happens
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Comments (116)
flockz 20
should of slathered him in pepto.
soccergurl95 8
Shit balls, that's a rough one.
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
At least he didn't piss on you too!
J0gby 0
well then he wasnt REALLY constipated now was he...
tybtab 5
that is a shitty situation.
VVeetard 8
Scared shitless.
VeroAnne 11
You were shit outta luck :(
flockz 20
you guys must think your hot shit huh?
YourEvilHero 12
all of your responses are quite... "shitty"
flockz 20
dont say shit like that. i'll **** your shit up! ok im done.
juicedboi 7
"Insert witty pun involving the word "shit" here".
Soloman212 28
Juiced, you might want to reconsider that "witty" part.
FarSide 23
Was the diaper wrapped THAT tight?? Next time, take junior outside next to a dumpster and save your $25 bucks.
i13Zero 5
Oh no! $25!
UnicornHunter 12
OP, who gives a shit?
ReptarSwag 4
what a shity day huh??
itsbritneybixchh 0
Haha bunny funny.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
What a shitty comment, huh?
rarrar321 3
organic Butt plus suck!
VeraJK 16
61-WTF?
Gruv3r14 1
Well, it was only $25.
partyfool2011 4
For $25 it better have been the most righteous of deuces!
cheeser9 0
*BA-DUM-CHH*
jessesgirl14 16
A tablespoon of karo syrup in 8 oz of liquid should help.... Or miralax! Anything to help him go...
cc_the_beast 6
Castor oil is quite literally the shit. All the bub would need is a couple of drops.
partyfool2011 4
I think op is trying to say that a filled diaper caused the babies constipation.
itsharkley 8
3 kiwis is the natural way to go
idontcare8l 3
Thats shitty
BIEBERSLAYER 10
A shit joke, really clever
idontcare8l 3
I hear poop i say shitt what can i say
LizzJizz 16
Lol well coulda been worse...coulda payed 1000
lulututu 4
That's what I'm thinking.
hellokat1 0
Yea look on the bright side, $25 isn't that much and at least your baby isn't constipated anymore.
jelmermcgee 8
what I was thinking. 25 whole dollars huh?
Ketchup_Castle 30
Well, that's one way to look at it. But, yeah. $25 really isn't that much money for a doctor's visit.
jmatx 0
Thats a shity situation
dreamering 16
No shit Sherlock.
flockz 20
6- I bet you think your hot shit for making that comment.
omgcookeys 15
6- that was a pretty shitty comment you posted.
flockz 20
ok we need to stop or we're gonna scare him shitless with all these shitty comments.
dreamering 16
How can you stop the shit? Oh wait; butt plugs up to certain level.
halofan48 0
Refunds accepted???
Stylin_Since_97 10
I would've hugged the doctor in return for his precious time
XxgreymoonxX 8
xD maybe he wanted an audience?
iheartkanye 8
Shit happens