Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
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Top comments
GameRater01 0
I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife
jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0
So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?
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Comments (136)
pinkfrenchrose 5
I'm laughing SO hard right now. I FEEL FOR YOU!!! xD xD xD
LawlRocker 0
You know what would have been worst? If you were watching two small children have a water balloon fight, Or if you were looking at pictures of your best friend on myspace, before hand. but that was pretty funny :]
sanduniverse 0
Fortunately, it isn't Michael Jackson. However The Beatles ftw!
lpaul49 0
@ 15. word.
iamsansname 0
I don't think this is a very good FML. The Beatles are perfect. I'm surprised that everybody doesn't start masturbating whenever the Beatles are on. Probably this made your mom more sympathetic...I know I'd find it easier to accept my son's masturbation habits if I knew he had such musical taste. Although uh, yeah, you do need to prioritize a bit. Hiding self > hiding ****.
fdlightningquik 0
1. If there's a possibility someone walks in make sure you can hide yourself and the **** AT THE SAME TIME 2. Your mom is dumb either dumb or didn't care.
lauren416 0
I thought everyone masturbated to The Beatles!
bunnysuit 0
#13- YESSS Ringo is my man! And your mom may not have assumed you were watching it, haha. but regardless, the beatles are AMAZING.
TheLoneWolf_fml 0
theassman's in the skyyyyyyyyyyy with diamonds
not_there 0
Tip: Close your laptop next time..