Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
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Top comments
akallaan 7
The way to flip the awkwardness, stare right at her and go faster. She'll learn to knock.
Complaining 13
Awkward... But at least it's your own place so you do have a right to privacy.
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Comments (90)
Complaining 13
Awkward... But at least it's your own place so you do have a right to privacy.
dirtroadboy 7
Learn to lock doors?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#3 - It's his OWN PLACE. Why would he need to lock doors?
FYLDeep 26
Didn't you read the FML? Shit can still happen. Locks are a good precautionary measure regardless of where/how you live.
vip3r20 8
who doesn't lock doors? I mean really do you not lock your front door?
Ozone1232 5
I don't lock my doors. But if someone walks in on me, I just stare them in the eye and finish.
trollfaced 2
Also OPs mom learned to knock next time
Wangan_Warrior 9
20: I suspect she has a key.
LadiDi_fml 10
Agree with 38, she probably has the keys, but she shouldn't come unnanounced...
JayBear14 11
Sounds like Jim from American Pie :P
Horcruxer 0
Yea why would he lock his doors!? He likes Canada style
Dracoboxer357 36
Lmao!
imaginaryvoice 18
Deer in headlights?
urdirtyolduncle 15
60- don't make fun of Canadiens. there's lots of them here.
eili_fml 0
am I the only one who this has never happened to?
kona314 1
81 - Canadians can't spell
downtime 13
51, Plenty of people give their neighbours or family keys on the off chance that there is an emergency or they have locked themselves out. Common sense is still around, you just don't know about it because apparently you lack it.
ChronicBluntz420 7
Try locking your doors next time. Be happy it was your mom and not an armed felon.
FYLDeep 26
I bet if it was an armed felon the OP would have just shoot him in the face.
FYLDeep 26
Shot*
RadikulRam 16
No FYLDeep, you got it right the first time.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Yea it is shoot :p
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
...no it isn't....
thiscrazything 1
Sorry guys, it's past tense. Which means it is shot. Just kind of gross what he would have shot him with.
rabbittboi 18
And - suddenly ZZ Top's "Pearl Necklace" is playing in my head...
ambamm135 7
FAPMAN to the rescue!
downtime 13
Assuming the front door wasn't locked, it wouldn't make any difference. People don't have the right to enter another persons property unless permitted by the owner. The mother was in the wrong regardless of the situation unless they had organised for her to come by previously, end of story. Locking the door is irrelevant.
RadikulRam 16
Guys guys, I was being sarcastic because he didn't edit his own post, instead he made a new one like I just did.
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Have you hear of this great invention. It's called a lock.
themacuser 0
Maybe he's claustrofobic while jacking. I am, that's why I whack outside. Behind the bushes near the kindergarden.
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Maybe the kindergarten should get a lock and keep everyone inside.
desireev 18
31- Are you 14 years old??
dyble95 0
Have you Heard of this great invention. It's called a key.
AlyssaDemo13 0
That's not weird at all.... O.o
MuffinPrince 0
They.. Make those??
Duladian 19
Huh, thats why you lock doors...
Snafuusmc 12
Haha love the gun man!
sinking_fish 12
5- Unless his mom has a key.. Not sure why she would.. But maybe she does! Btw, on a completely random note, thank you for your service!
usmcore 0
It makes me proud to be an American and in the service when I witness people being patriotic to soldiers.
kickazz16 15
Your mother should really learn how to knock.
bidgah_teh 0
Well served for not doing anything productive with that time. And yeah well, for not locking your door.
themacuser 0
Oh I think he produced enough nomsain?
OhLohd111 11
I believe OP didn't want to do anything productive, hence why he was fapping rather than having unprotected sex with a woman.
akallaan 7
The way to flip the awkwardness, stare right at her and go faster. She'll learn to knock.
btstig 11
This made me LoL. Thank you kind sir.
Savra_fml 17
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Jack burnt off his ******' dick.
fo_86 0
Hilarious comment!! But any parent that can stand there long enough to have their son stare at them and go faster while catching them ********** is disturbed!!
The_Otter1 1
LMFAO!!!! Couldn't stop laughing at this visual image!!!!!!!
SimoneDymond 3
Lol 86 is fo_86 Am I the only one to notice that O.o
AmbrosiaFan 19
LMAO... this, so much this.
linkinpark98 24
Lol..why was your mom there in the first place?
btstig 11
That is between him, his mom, and a therapist to be named later.
bizarre_ftw 22
Same basic principle now as when you were 14: Lock Your Damn Door!!!
NullPointer 20
It's very likely that his mom has a key to his place, and figures she doesn't need to knock.
MCROTC 0
In that case he should change the locks
lrgenesis 19
I suggest you learn to lock and your mom learn to knock or your mom will walk in on you jacking your ****.