Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
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Top comments
GameRater01 0
I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife
jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0
So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?
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Comments (136)
Lucyinthesky67 0
I'd ********** to Ringo. And George. And John. And Paul. And Stuart. Maybe even Pete. They were all sexy in their day. I looooove the Beatles. Better than any **** online. Just pull out the Two Virgins album and cover up that stupid bitch John married, Yoko Oh No! God I hate her...
chuckcloseisgod 0
LMAO, this one really made me die laughing/giggling. I am a huge Beatles fan, so while I'm not really attracted to them in that way, I can completely understand why anybody would want to ********** to them. Hehe. (Not that I'm insinuating that you would.. I'm just saying, in general..) Even if you had been, you certainly wouldn't have been alone! (I'm sure there have been plenty of guys throughout the past few decades who have done it as well). Even if you don't jerk off to them, how can you not love them for being so charismatic, talented and intelligent back in the day?
sgt_pepper27 0
well said, #91, well said XD
Beatlesndoherty 0
I would totally ********** to John! John was always a deeply beautiful man, and his death was tragic for any Beatles or Lennon fan, and anyone wanting peace. But if you see something wrong in masturbating to the Beatles, LOCK. YOUR. DOOR.
Lady_Zydrate 1
You are my new best friend. Lennon lives!
Blacksnake_fml 0
YOU FAIL AT LIFE LOL
BeatlesKidAlways 0
What does that mean?
BeatlesKidAlways 0
I literally Laughed Out Loud at the Richard Simmons bit.
BeatlesKidAlways 0
Man those guys are hot, I'm flunking the year because I spend too much time in class thinking about what it would be like doing Paul or John.
rubbersoul_ 1
That sounds familiar. This is the best FML ever. The Beatles should have made a sex tape, now that would've been hot.
mayor_west 8
You......are now my best friend.
lulujay 0
do you people not have locks on your doors
Sparkiee93 3
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
LennonFanatic 0
This is freggin hilarious... I laughed so hard. why parents can't knock though, I will never understand.
Fentown_fml 4
Ha haaaa
derrek730 2
u scarred John paul ringo and George. thanks