Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
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Top comments
GameRater01 0
I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife
jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0
So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?
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Comments (136)
zandar 0
yep, agreed, no shame. although Ringo really does nothing for me.
digapygmy 0
... I do ********** to the Beatles. I actually wrote a rejected FML about coming to the thought of John Lennon. It's not THAT bad, guys. They just really drive my car. *rawr* ;)
ifuckuprandomly 28
The question is do they park in the garage?
fortunecookie_fml 0
I actually laughed at this one. that's very rare, thank you.
scarlett_fml 0
minimising he screen wouldn't do much if the sound was on.
Justinc_ 0
So did she help out after or what?
JL_fml 0
Lol @ #11 At least it wasn't Prince or Michael Jackson. *Shrugs*
RPGod 0
Hey, Prince is a sexy ************ even if you're straight
Ole_Stinker 0
Did you try to explain? "No mom really- I was watching ****!"
sillypun 0
hey there kid, no more shower babies for you. there are real girls out there. eventually you may find one ugly enough to let you touch her.
porfavor_fml 0
Got to love that George Harrison. Hey, at least it wasn't The Kinks...
vietiscool 2
why do so many idiots say it's peoples faults for not having locks? my room had double doors and it wasn't possible to get locks implemented. even so, how would you explain to your parents that you want a lock installed on your room so you could do the nasty or do illegal drugs without them finding out? idiots.