Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
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Comments (156)
vikky538 29
how did u explain the situation to you kids... that's the funniest part...
weveallbeenthere 30
good for both of you.
aktail01 10
Kids can take naps at grandmas house while mom and dad get that quickie
NessaMae 19
I'm set on you deserved it. You knew your kids were sleeping, if you couldn't be quiet you should have stopped. And yeah, a lock would be a good idea, I'd invest in one.
perdix 31
It's "the beast with two backs!" --Shakespeare
EmmaMK 35
Making the beast with two backs! I love Othello.
perdix 31
Sounds like a big booty hoe who needs a ball gag and rubberized walls.
asylumlane 23
Pillows are your friend when you have kids and visitors in the house.
Axel5238 29
With all the fml's about being walked in on ect, does no one check before they start doing stuff that they are fairly sure that they won't be interrupted and lock the door? Can't think of how many fml's start with having sex in the living room and someone came home or the amount of kids "supposedly" walking in on their parents having sex. Does no one lock doors anymore at at least try to be kind of discrete?
frizz101 22
Yeah because going to the store and buying a lock is super hard and expensive.
iluvferrets 13
If it is a rental, they might not be allowed to alter the doors.
T1A2Z3 35
Well most doors come with keys? Push a dresser against the door or a chair then?
jadelolly 3
hell yes
Dark_Stream 29
We got surprise visitors once in a while, too. We had to plan ahead. Before we put a lock on the bedroom door, my wife and I would stick a table knife in the door jam so our kids could not open it unexpectedly.
ShadowSneaker360 16
Haha. "Mommy, why did the monster chain you to the bed?"