Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
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Comments (156)
FallenStar06 5
Invest in two things. 1. As others have pointed out, a lock. 2. A pillow. Trust me, pillows help muffle the noise and you're not likely to make much noise hitting it or the bed or even tearing it apart if you have to grab it.
bitchimabunnyz33 13
So much for a quickie
DarkMarkInTheSky 9
Can we just all sit and admire the children's bravery here? Instead of cowering under the covers from the threat of a potential monster, they grabbed whatever weapons they could find to defend their poor damsel in distress of a mother. Those kids rock!
hickdog 6
#scarredforlife #byebyequickies
Keattles 14
Scarred for life? =P
nevergiveinever 19
Just a tip here... If you notice that you're hitting stuff like a wall, you can avoid that. Just grab onto your partner really tight with your arms and/or legs and maybe do a little finger digging (its quiet, you get your stress out without hitting things, and most guys like my fiance find it to be a turn on). As for the screaming, try to let it out without noise. Like, just use really heavy breaths and sighs, or try your best to make a quiet moan. Or.. Just don't have sex when other people in the house. It's MUCH easier that way. Me and my fiance both still live with our parents for the time being, so we also try to find ways to keep intimacy quiet. Hope this helps so you don't have this problem again... I wouldn't want to be the one trying to explain the situation that my kids saw and is now most likely embedded into their memories.... *shudders*
TheWorldGreatest 8
You should be happy they came to see what was going on !
tfowl61692 14
scared for life
Meld86 12
They're looking for the one eye monster
bazookajoey 27
Get a lock for your door