Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
inumiko 12
lmao. you have amazing and brave kids! atleast they're not afraid of the monster and wanted to protect their parents. :)
TcheQ 12
Since when does a quickie last 15min
rdal_10 0
I seriously just made an acount to say how BADASS your kids are. I mean, sorry about the sex part but you're kids are awesome!
Gregshelton8611 5
or just say get the **** out and kill it some more... ;-)
allplayedout 20
YDI for not locking the door. Even bigger YDI if your children are old enough for nerf guns and you still haven't installed locks on your doors.
juan3611 14
15 minutes is a quicke o. O
TisAPenguin 16
One of the many reasons I will not have kids.
Ksweety_fml 27
Hahahahaha.....
kbecks87 16
I'm not sure you know what a quickie is.
Bookoholic 11
That's adorable.