Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
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Comments (156)
menoseloso 13
You've got some brave kids.
worldclassrager 41
That is the third FML I have seen with the name anon...you must have a wacky life... Well looks like it's best when they are not napping...
perdix 31
#40, then block the door with a chair. Trust me, when a couple having sex gets walked in on, no one wins, except the psychotherapists and the makers of brain bleach.
buttcramp 21
on the bright side, your kids sound like they're pretty awesome!
frizz101 22
I have to say you deserve it, if your kids are old enough do do something like that, they are old enough to remember it, and if you decide to have sex, even if they are asleep, take some precautions for goodness sake. Kids don't wanna walk in on their parents having sex. And for goodness sake have enough sense to scream into a pillow if you're incapable of muffling yourself.
PatandIsabella 4
Sweet Jesus , take it to a room with a lock. You're gonna scar your babies .
AmorVitae93 6
awwww
Gityerchicken 12
Lame. Poor kids.
wdunh69733 24
That's not a quickie, that's a session at 15 minutes!
eman683122 5
It's just nice to see some Married couples still keeping the spark going! I'm guessing you guys didn't get to finish though lol