Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
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Top comments
TumblrweedPasses 11
Haha, it happens to lots of men when they're nervous I'm sure Just tell him you'll have another go when you're back home and all the pressures gone
Mungolikecandy 19
Usually, stress causes problems in ejaculating not speeding it up.
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Comments (17)
TumblrweedPasses 11
Haha, it happens to lots of men when they're nervous I'm sure Just tell him you'll have another go when you're back home and all the pressures gone
iceberg 10
The sad thing is I bet he didn't do anything after to make you get off too. So disgustingly selfish. That's why I say the only thing one should commit to is a sex toy.
metalhead88 9
Found the feminist!!
iceberg 10
I hate both genders bitch
tounces7 28
The toxic type, yeah.
0neiros 14
A sex toy may be the only thing on the planet willing to put up with your bullshit.
Mungolikecandy 19
Usually, stress causes problems in ejaculating not speeding it up.
RichardPencil 32
Literally, a Two-Pump Chump!
jareda6x 8
Sounds like he performed great under pressure. In out on with life
0neiros 14
OK, take it from a Veteran of the Marriage wars - When on a vacation like that, you set aside 1 day and night to spend, just you and your husband, and you get a a room at a place where your family isn't. You inform all affected parties that that day/night is for the two of you, you will not have your phones turned on, and to deal with any bullshit themselves. Flip them a few bucks to take care of and treat your kids to Dominoes or some such. Then stick to it. Turn off your phones, spend the day just the 2 of you having fun, enjoy a good breakfast and lunch, and a romantic meal, then go at it like rutting weasels. Be back at noon the next day Happy, rested, and ready for the rest of your trip with your sibs and family. Budget about $300 for this, but the good it will do you and your marriage is immeasurable.
VenomMouth 2
it takes a second for guys to think about it