Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
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Comments (156)
harmtouch16 11
wtf is wrong with you that you're so selfish and stupid you can't control your mouth? I have FOUR children and we have sex all the time, but they would never hear it. There's a time to be loud and a time to think about other people. Your children should be the first priority. You can't control hitting the wall? Frieking control yourself.
driinkbleach 18
#84 is right, that's gross and immature
Spyingcheeseman 8
Damn calm down. its not her fault. I'm positive she didn't purposely scream and hit the the wall with the intention on waking up her kids. other wise she wouldn't have made and FML about it.
harmtouch16 11
Whether she did it on purpose or not she is still selfish, stupid, and immature. When you have children it's not all about you anymore. It's really stupid to say, "I couldn't control myself and not hit the wall." My husbands workin with a nice 8 inches and we have a healthy sex life, but I guarantee you none of my children know about it.
Koleckai 16
How sweet!! The kids were trying to protect you.
limabeans101029 21
Congrats on all your amazing sex! But you really should control the noises you make when your children are in the house. I think it's fine to have sex while they're in the house, especially when they're having a nap, but I think it's pretty selfish of you to scream and moan so loudly while you do it. That kind of thing can feel so awkward and embarrassing.
AHHHHHHZAVENYAAA 10
Nope, you're disgusting. Your poor children.
dachayke 16
Annnd that's why you lock the door.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Well you know your kids will defend you now.
brandoneyez1 25
Classic!
emily_in_reverse 6
you really should be more careful. you could scar their lives forever like my parents did D:
disney_blonde 16
Why don't parents ever lock their doors?
horneyhic 15
I think you need a ball gag and some handcuff ;)