Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
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Top comments
phobiaoffears 0
He laughs now, but later on in life he'll definitely regret doing that.
insensitivity_ki 0
He is so going to smoke crack...
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Comments (167)
phobiaoffears 0
He laughs now, but later on in life he'll definitely regret doing that.
lilacwords 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah.. future pedophile.
runescapescool 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
change his diaper
ravinderkaler 0
change his diaper? someone is definitely being stupid here. and guess what? its the guy who plays runescape
tharimau 2
LMFAO. that was almost as funny as the original FML.
LMFAOWTFHAY 0
What ?! LMAO
newmanlyman3 8
slap his white ( or black ) ass!!! lolz
lezzyluver 0
lolzzzz that sucks hopefully he didn't see or hear anything
Ray_2808 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well y didn't u check under the bed than
remy3106 10
haha true
hadi_brown 0
karma... it's a bitch that will hunt him later in life :P
balest22 0
he now has an excuse when his parents cath him masterbating
MrsDruidess 23
Dude, 7 years old? Why the hell didn't you know where he was? You just go at it with your kids running loose in the house? YDI I am sorry but unless there was more to this story youre just bad parents
Chidge 0
HAHAHAHA FYL!
haha36 0
FYL? No FYson'sL.
yourstruly21 0
Yeah, great memory to bring up later on in life.
insensitivity_ki 0
He is so going to smoke crack...
hellzyeah88 0
lolololol....true. that.
shelbysue282 0
who doesnt? ...lol just kiddin ;)
nerdgrl128 0
hahahaha
nick0011 0
Lmao I can only guess what he'll be telling all of his friends
Rabyd 0
Lol, his life is fcuked.
Glam_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Poor kid. He will probably be messed up for life. My guess is that he will have some sort of sexual dysfunction.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
LOLL @ "heroin user 4eva"
Erock5718 0
well excuse the hell out of the woman for trying to have sex in her room with the door shut! having kids doesnt mean that you cant have sex anymore and how the hell was she supposed to know her kid was under the bed?! its not like she was screwing in the middle of the kitchen or something!
Sucks_to_be_you 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How about for not knowing where her 7 year old is? He obviously wasn't being supervised.
Jaywin 3
She probably expected him to be in his room where he usually is. He's a kid, he likes to hide and be sneaky. Doesn't mean he wasn't being supervised unless your definition of being supervised is watching your kid every second of the day. Like you never hid from your parents when you were a kid. If you never hid from your parents in the clothing racks at the mall, you definitely missed out on good times.
genius_man16 1
obvious troll is obvious
fortytwo 0
holy shit, the clothing racks were by far the coolest hiding place outside of home. I managed to hide inside a drying machine when I was younger - it took my mom about half an hour to find me. =D
nazooer 11
I agree with you, but yet people give you negative votes..
mattmag 0
Meh, it wasn't that long ago that homes had one room and kids were always around when their parents ******. Hell, in some societies this is still very commonplace. He'll only be screwed up if people tell him it will screw him up.
kangaroo62 2
well it was probably night so they expected him to be sleeping and not all parents spend all night watching their kids sleep
StealthStorm67 0
@ 65 Well that's a little bit redundant
ravinderkaler 0
i really hate how all the feminists start acting up immediately, saying it was also her husbands fault. seriously?
leyalu 0
# 92 phail
chick16 0
to #41 and a few others... the woman shouldn't be having sex, with her husband, in their own bedroom?!?! wow. you do realize that it takes more than just a woman to have sex right? like another person. it's not just the mom who was and most people have sex at night, fyi, especially if they have children. so im assuming that this was at night, and after he 'went' to bed, he decided to go hide in his parents bedroom and scare them by crawlin out from under the bed, or something like that. or he was waiting for them to notice that he was hiding on them. as for the kid being scarred for life...he wouldn't be giggling if he knew what they were doing! he'd be like 'oh man im gonna be in trouble if they catch me!!'. of course, i can guarantee that he will remember this later in his life and know what happened. why? he will remember it for a while as successfully hiding and fooling his parents. when he gets older, eventually he will remember that particular memory and be like 'oh shit. wtf gross'.
beethoven_fml 0
dude, it's not that big of a thing.
StealthStorm67 0
Can you Elaborate?
leyalu 0
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Troll
cellerbeck 4
62 and 77 I used to love hiding in stores! and the dryer was one of my fav places to hide! I would some times go in it and spin around in it too. good times
McLaughlane 0
that really sucks. ew :/
Avenging_Angel 0
Lmao! This will make a great Thanksgiving dinner story ;D
Sawadee 0
intense bed time story for your son
Dancerella_fml 0
I would not want to be that little kid.