Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"
thestrangedude 10
At least they didn't call the police first
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Comments (156)
liza1922 7
How could they get into a locked room?
arandomusernameaa 20
If it wasn't locked -_-
Spyingcheeseman 8
Mom knows where the monster is.
DanielleinDC 34
Okay, i'm piling on here, but really...15 minutes is not a quickie. Lock the door. If this means buying a lock for the door, buy the damn lock and have it installed. Learn to muffle your screams. You have kids, which means you have to be considerate of what they might hear when you and your husband go at it. You totally deserve it.
limabeans101029 21
15 minutes could be kind of quick, it depends on how long it normally is. Or maybe those 15 minutes were partly foreplay. Totally agree with the rest though.
fartay55 11
Those are some awesome kids lol
Fangirlhello 8
It's kind of cute that they wanted to protect you from a 'monster'. It's the thought that counts
ElectroThunder28 16
Oh come on, that's so cute
kissnjones 8
And you don't have a lock on your door. Smh
awilliams44 9
hahaha get the monster!
ZombieSazza 34
Lol, at least they're protective! Maybe scream into a pillow or get a ball gag (if you're into that), buy a lock for the door, then have fun! Also, to those thinking 15 minutes is too long for a quickie, exactly how long is a quickie supposed to last, 2-5 minutes?
faireanjell 5
You have epic kids