Today, I'm sitting at the vet's office while they run expensive tests on my cat. This is to make sure he doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating the condom that my partner and I used last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
Today, after seeing my cat struggle to use the litterbox and produce nothing for two days, I caved and took him to the emergency vet, fearing a UTI. It wasn't. $200 and 2 Lyft rides later, he's stoned out of his mind and peeing just fine. FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML
Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML
Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I have to give my cat medicine to help with his constipation. He doesn't like it. On the other hand, my other cat, who isn't constipated, loves it. This may prove to be challenging. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
You just reminded me of a joke. So this man goes to the pharmacy and buys 6 jumbo boxes of condoms, the cashier wants to know what he's going to do with them all. He replies "I taught my dog how to eat them, so now whenever he goes to the bathroom, he ***** in plastic baggies!"
Allie614032 34
*bowel... and YDI. If you've taken on the responsibility of a pet, you need to provide a safe space for them. And sometimes, that means cleaning up after yourself (ugh, how difficult).
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Comments (21)
Glowworm56 27
You just reminded me of a joke. So this man goes to the pharmacy and buys 6 jumbo boxes of condoms, the cashier wants to know what he's going to do with them all. He replies "I taught my dog how to eat them, so now whenever he goes to the bathroom, he ***** in plastic baggies!"
emh86 14
Omg that's so good
Glowworm56 27
Thanks, I always loved that one.
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hope you're cat is well..
gamefreakcon 9
you're means you are.
Konarika 11
Hope you learn how to spell
RichardPencil 32
Or that your cat got pregnant! Just because you're careless with your used jimmy hats, doesn't mean you want to unleash the cat-man chimaera on the world!
Lalala579121 28
Yeah I once left my bowls out on the counter for a while, they got obstructed too. That's some pretty serious business.
Zebediabolical 45
You can probably avoid this problem in the future by not using condoms. But that will come with a whole other set of problems.
Allie614032 34
*bowel... and YDI. If you've taken on the responsibility of a pet, you need to provide a safe space for them. And sometimes, that means cleaning up after yourself (ugh, how difficult).
skippydoda 32
My dog once ate chocolate that I put on top of the refrigerator. I'm not sure how she got it. Animals get into things.
texaskitty86 25
My husband and I had this happen as well when we were dating. The condom had been wrapped in tissues and put under other items in the trash can, which had a lid. My cat dug through the trash, tore apart the tissues and ate the condom while we were sleeping. Thankfully she puked it back up by the next morning so no vet visit for us. Don't assume that OP left a mess behind, animals can get very creative. As a side note, the bathroom door was always left shut after that to prevent this from happening again
ughlololol 2
Oh wow, and also ew, this was my post. Cat is fine, he's an idiot, but he's fine. And to the people of "why didn't you clean up after yourself that's your own fault you gross individual", we did. The condom was in the bin. Cat got into the bin while we were at work. He has never gotten into the bin before (and I'd also like to say that no other pet we have ever owned has gotten in the bin ever either), and we have taken the precautions so that it does not happen again. None of this "you need a safe space for your pets" bullshit, our place is perfectly animal friendly. It just seems like, in this instance, it was not idiot-cat friendly.
Amber Parkey 6
Cats are weirdos can't blame yourself, curiosity killed the cat is a saying for a reason, atleast your a loving enough pet parent not to take the wait and see option. Best of luck, hope kitty still has all 9 lives!
Glowworm56 27
I'm glad the cat was fine. Hopefully he's learned not to eat condoms. I got a good laugh when you described your home as not being "Idiot cat friendly."
Kastrull 7
Oh my god, I read "parents" and had time to think there's something seriously wrong with OP before I realized ?
ProperPengTing 15
Should've waited
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, did you throw it on the floor? If so, YDI. If you threw it in the garbage and the cat just dug it out, FYL. Might have been cheaper to have just flushed it. :D