Today, my breakfast disagreed with me and I unexpectedly shat myself at the laundromat, right after starting the washer with all of my other pants in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least you could get them cleaned right away. And don't worry about standing around in your underwear while waiting. Own it.
RichardPencil 32
You ought to go to that new church founded by Father Poopypants.
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Comments (3)
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least you could get them cleaned right away. And don't worry about standing around in your underwear while waiting. Own it.
AstroTurfMatador 11
Considering that he shit himself, his underwear took the brunt of the punishment, so I don't think that would work.
RichardPencil 32
You ought to go to that new church founded by Father Poopypants.
PhoenixChick 26
Sounds like perfect timing to me. Unless your out of quarters.
ChromoTec 24
Well, it's just like what it says on the machine: "Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out"
AstroTurfMatador 11
I don't really see a problem here. I'd rather stand around in wet pants than pants loaded with shit.