Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
uupa99 0
crocks = immediate turn off
sadday87 0
that's not an FML
emo_devon 11
hey......some ppl need the help of a vibrator to get off. so...don't b too hard on urself OP :) or, you can just go ask her what you're doing wrong, and what she would like. research from reliable sources may help as well.
Corvello 0
lol I wouldn't mind one
picturescrazy 24
LOL, this is great!
yakyak132 0
orange crocks ...hot trade gf's
amayaa_fml 7
Aha well maybe you suck in bed?
Mauskau 36
rofl at crocs
arsh333 0
the irony
PolishHammer 0
number0 what is your profile picture if? I know I've seen it somewhere!
omgtacos 0
to me it looks like the guy on the matrix XD