Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
annmatreefrog 0
you knowyou can use her toy together? u can use it on her. it doesn't have to be a bad thing. and herald and condoms, not sluty but sexy. crocs and a vibrator, the girl just wants to pamper herself. nothing wrong with that
jive_turkey1 0
what does OP mean??
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Organization of Pedorasty.
HerDarkHeart 7
learn how too pleasure you girl!
PrincessBrooke23 0
that sux man! but vibaters are nice!
bontox 0
Brother, as long as she did not intend the vibrator and the Crocs as a gift for you I think it will all be fine.
rcp90 2
You're the one who picked out your girlfriend....If she's buying a vibrator its your fault... and girls always buy shoes... if you wanted a girl who buys heals and condoms you should remember that when you start dating one
LethalXLorinda 0
ahahahhahahahahah THAT SUCKS shows how much your sex life sucks
fakkumairaifu 14
Quit ******* obsessing over your brother's girlfriend and give your own some attention so she won't need to rely on the vibrator. Burn her Crocs, though.
kGoatly 0
She sounds cute and undersexed to me
Dino1234 0
I literally don't even know what to say to that. the only thing I can really think of is WHY ORANGE CROCS?