Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
EvilDave 13
Sounds like you need a new GF. Maybe your brother's GF has a friend.
takemytrollz 0
YDI for having a brother. YDI for having a girlfriend. YDI for sucking at sex. YDI for not buying YOUR girlfriend black heels and condoms. YDI for using the word killer. FYL
jsbass89 0
he deserves it for not burning those crocs buying her black heals condoms AND a vibrator
lolipop3344 0
your bros girl is a ****
pasiphae9 5
For wearing heels, and practising safe sex with her boyfriend? That makes her a ****? Well done! You successfully achieved your goal of being an idiot, with flying colours!
MyNameIsInvictus 0
Nice job man. You wrecked him and threw in a spelling lesson! (the colours thing was a nice touch)
gingerrrr88 11
I am not exactly sure but I think people are think that the OPs brothers gf is underage. that doesn't make her a **** in my mind but I can see how other people would think so. and considering she wants to have SAFE sex that helps add to the "she isn't a **** side" and considering she is a human being, odds are sex is something she wants and that's just natural so as long as she isn't underage, there really isn't any thing wrong with that
kablaamee 2
How the hell is someone a **** for having sex with their bf?? People are stupid.
fable_fayebee 0
guess that you bro can get with his gf and you cant! haha sucks for you
FuckYeahImBack14_fml 0
Wow time to loose that girl ! 1st NEVER date a girl that wears crocs ! And 2nd she's lame !
beancoinc 0
I would encourage her to share the time she plays with the vibrater with you not to replace you but to add to your pleasuring her, think of pleasing her first & it will open doors with her trying things to please you, both my wife & girlfriend enjoy toys & the pleasure they get from them and toys don't they take anything away from me to see them pleased by each other or by me, it's win win win, all the way around.
isteadymob 4
wife and girlfriend morman?
kristir9426 0
some men can please and afford a wife and girlfriend :-)
TheDrifter 24
and the pleasing both is easier than affording both.
lrr11 0
Wife and girlfriend that's ****** up go to hell you bastard
MATTMAN93 0
baby dick lol.
jsbass89 0
crocs... lesbian. that would suck. or maybe she's just bi that's cool. maybe she's planning a surprise 3 way.
nerdsgetmehot 23
How on earth does wearing Crocs make someone a lesbian? Straight women wear those ugly shoes too, fool.
iamepiclee 3
what guy says killer shoes it = gay! plus ur fuckn bad at sex which makes u deserve it dumb ass!