Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
PolishHammer 0
if is supposed to say of.
alepsych 1
OP girlfriend is gay.
ccrbtulsa69 0
vibrators rock lol
ccrbtulsa69 0
vibrators rock lol
kmanandh 0
that's alright as long ad the bitch is still suckin at the end of the day jkjkjk
NoelLikesBirds 0
Agreed with 43, this is not an FML.
oldenuff2party 3
crocs r for homos
dynky 3
have fun playing with the vibrator together... and she won't be wearing the crocs when you're in bed. win-win.
saintalia 0
So her buying a vibe is a threat to your masculinity or something? Sorry about your tiny dick, bro. YDI. If you just relax and stop buying into the bullshit about how she should be creaming herself at the mere sight of your manly rod, you could try using the vibe on her and have a satisfied girlfriend and a better sex life. Amazing how vibes aren't solo-only toys, huh?
reddwarf_fml 0
lmao. u made my day!!!!!!