Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Take a shit on her bed and say the bathroom was dirty
CJ0106 1
Poop on her pillow and say "sorry, the toilet was dirty".
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Comments (121)
Alecksander 4
Ew.
TBelle4Ever 15
Did the pressure of first comment get to you?
jtthegr8 26
Probably did, happens to the best of us.
IscoreOnU 19
Lol 1 you know you'd have done the same thing. Everyone does at some point whether its parents aunts siblings friends w/e. I'd lend mine to a bro If I had to.
Alecksander 4
Sure.
just_dandy20 2
#19 I don't think you understand....It's disgusting! Especially if you sleep in that bed and nothing was cleaned! Her bitch of a sister should be slapped. I wouldn't "lend my bed" for anyone. It's nasty! And her sister should have cleaned her bed off, or do it on the damn floor.
_Oblivion_ 12
Just leave a bunch of shit in her room
racerapj 10
39 - Better yet, WHOOP HER ASS!
EmoSquirrel 7
Literally or...?
_Oblivion_ 12
Or?? Theres one meaning to whoop someones ass
Trix_Disorder 20
63 - to whoop someone's ass - v. - to yell "whoop" loudly and fervently at another person's posterior. :|
PinkieKeen 20
If my had sex on my bed I would make sure she'd wake up the next morning. UNDERWATER.
larouche362 10
#86 The last part sounds really familular. Isn't that from Drake and Josh or something?
PinkieKeen 20
Sorry, ment to say "if my sister" not "my". 107- Yeah Drake and Josh quotes were funny.
sonny234 0
Get your wetness all over her bed. Hah.
jtthegr8 26
Well at least you can say "magic" happens in your bed?
WiderWille 11
Sorry kid, there is no "magic" in having sex with someone. And there is even less magic in sleeping in other peoples body fluids.
emag_eht 18
Magic leaves the building when you know it's your sister's.
beccaishereyay 11
20- Since when is there no magic in sex? I don't know what kind of sex your having but maybe you should try again.
jetsown08 21
20- of course there's magic in sex! I mean, what else could 50 Cent possibly have meant when he said he has the magic stick?
KrazieKleo 13
I thought Fiddy was referring to the cane he was carrying? Have I been wrong the whole time??? Fml
walmartpaysme 15
Ok, there might be magic in GOOD sex but there is still zero magic in sleeping in other people's bodily fluids! Plus, what good is having magic happen in your bed of you aren't the one experiencing it.
yoloswagg54 9
And THAT, children, is how babies are made!
MDTeddy 13
I would be too mad to say that
ebonyirony 29
Dance magic, dance! Dance magic dance! Put that baby's spell on me!
HiIAmKevin 8
I got some "magic"...wanna see?
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Take a shit on her bed and say the bathroom was dirty
devydev92 5
Hahaha thank you for posting that, gave me a good laugh.
gc327072 31
She bangin in yo bedroom, messin yo bed all up....
coolbrony12 3
Or piss in it at night and make her think it was her. Or both. Yeah.
FML_Elle 17
Lol!!
ConBroChilll 9
61- please refer to your own profile picture.
Complaining 13
3 - I salute your username, good sir.
gc327072 31
75- that's my line!!
silasnolastname 7
that dosent make sense because her bed is dirty too
CJ0106 1
Poop on her pillow and say "sorry, the toilet was dirty".
savagearmz 6
Hmm this was posted at the exact same time as the comment above, strange.
graffitied_love 20
14- If you look at the date and time the two comments were posted they were posted at the exact time. It happens often. Its nothing worth getting your panties in a twist
Silent_Thrill 17
They say great minds think alike. That must mean this is a GREAT idea!
walmartpaysme 15
Did comment 13 get deleted? I don't see it.
capslockisgood 19
So close!
xCrazyMexican 4
You and the other guy posted at the same time
sjdbeinska 4
and pee on everything she loves
mw60 1
Time to get a lock for your door and to tell anyone that asks why.
Feared 9
Or put cameras up. A little cyber humiliation couldn't hurt. Unless of course they are underaged.
sens3sfailing 25
Isn't posting a video of someone else's naked pictures taken without their knowledge illegal. Well isn't taking naked pictures without permission illegal? That seems kinda harsh honestly. What they did is gross but potentially ruining both their names and even potentially hurting future jobs if that's why comes up when their names are searched on the Internet. They deserve the humiliation, but the public defacing is too far for me personally.
osteobabe 13
It's called voyeurism.
NoOneCaresReally 8
It's called a joke.
walmartpaysme 15
It's not a joke if it ruins lives.
cp41cool101 4
Well OP, atleast she didnt leave it there without remembering. Just imagine who would have discovered that.
iOceanus 18
OP's mom "What the Hell are these things doing under your bed!?" OP "I swear those aren't mine, Mom!"
TBelle4Ever 15
Your username sums up what I was going to say.
omg36 7
Oh my god I would kill my sister -.-
gashing 2
I would punch her in the overies!
ItsAllAnIllusion 2
Get a vibrator and leave it in her bed without mentioning that you had not used it. See how she likes it!
jtthegr8 26
That's a terrible idea
anonymous0420 3
I bet she would use it She didn't mind using her sisters bed
MasqueradePrince 25
I bet she would use it.
dorko_is_me 6
Then your reply should have been, "No shit Sherlock! I wonder how it got "dirty" in the first place!"
sexygurllolz 1
you tried
gmc_blossom 21
Only your 6th comment on here, and this is what you do?
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Aw give the poor girl a chance. She's just a baby fml-er.