Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
Taylorfacepwns 0
and?
JajaFMLer 3
Haha. Ask your brother to trade :P
selenagirl_fml 0
so? I don't see the big deal here... your gf prefers a vibrator? big whoop.
firegirl1993 21
agree, trade XD
guiltypleasure12 0
did they buy this all at one place? hah
selenagirl_fml 0
all the single ladies, all the single ladies! oh, op's a boy.....
chocolatedrop 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well ur brothers gf sounds like a little ****...
OopsieDaisies 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Only proves your brothers gf is slutty
katplayer 4
What? Guys have a place where vibrators can go, too. Hope she got some lube with that.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Buying heels and condoms makes someone a ****? Since when? Last time I checked, sleeping around with lack of said condoms made someone a ****.
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
21 I would have to agree with you and maybe it's your fault op for sucking at sex? plus heels suck they give you bunions and are so uncomfy, then again crocs had a recall cuz of lead of something in them
eggjuggler 0
No seriously... and? Who the hell cares? "Oh no! My gf went shopping and didn't buy sexy shoes to please me!" Get. Over. Yourself. Also, you'd have to be pretty inexperienced or unimaginative to think that vibrators are meant to always be used solo. Get in there and play with the damn toy, OP!
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
step your game up OP
nmsm 1
how is the bro's gf a ****? maybe they make sexy time later? and she got condoms. that's a good thing.
legonut4 0
its funny because your brother will laid and you won't
selenagirl_fml 0
vibrator? has anyone here tried one? I've never used one... I don't think I will either...
number0 8
YDI for having a brother YDI for not pleasing your girlfriend YDI for not liking crocs
number0 8
legonut4 - i bet that vibrator made her nice and moist
Brittney_E 0
eww crocs. that was tge first sign D:
iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0
yeah chocdrop right, she sounds whoreish. and uh maybe ur not getting the job done a-hole. FYGL=Fu*k your gf life. oh and also crocks r gross but uh they don't give you nasty calf legs in the end
iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0
wait I take back what I said...the bro gf not whoreish...the only problem is u in this FML.hahaha so yep
MyNameIsInvictus 0
bro don't worry about it. you're a British guy. maybe she doesn't want your crappy ass teeth going down on her.
eggjuggler 0
I like how you guys think the brother's gf is a ***** for buying heels and condoms, but the OP's gf isn't a good gf because she didn't buy heels and condoms. Anything to pass judgement on people, eh?
ParaCabXD 0
well... I don't think the hint could if been any clearer
oboewhore_xD 6
You're so full of yourself. Is your girlfriend's only purpose in life to fufill your desires? No. She wanted something for herself, get over it.
bbyychula710 0
that doesnt make her a **** it makes her have an imaqination to what her man miqht likee
snipersdelight 0
#11 the thing is she shouldent need the vibrator when she's got her bf
xXLenaXx 0
......crocs? I never understood why any self-respecting human would do that to themselves. Ask your brother to share. :P
JohnnyHobo 0
Ewie. crocks are yucky.
MsBrainDamage 0
crocs are the most disgusting shoes ever made. But crocs aside, she really wouldn't need a vibrator if she had a boyfriend that knew what he was doing...
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
Agree with #1, who cares? You can't satisfy your girlfriend, big deal. That's why God made me. JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING. Fyl XD
PizzaGuy11 0
crocks suck left nuts.......
livelaughlove22 0
hah you obviously aren't good in bed.
pureecstasy 5
why is that? because she has sex. what form of idiocy did you just spout? someone can have sex and not be a **** for example my girlfriend.
somename1223132 5
crock make you look like a reatard
pwincessa23 1
not knowing how to write makes u look retarted so why r u talking???? idiot!
ChelseaXD 0
bahahahahahaha! this made me lol.
pengiesully 0
what is ur gf 12? no girls older then 14 rele wear crocks
BonJovi821 3
#146 What are you, 12? No one older than 14 really spells as incoherently as you.
InfiltratedMind 0
fyl for being a grammar Nazi. I feel bad for your spawn.
yasmeenjonasx3 0
dump the bitch. she bought crocs, for gods sake!
Elicy1984 0
ough, I hate crocs.. FYL indeed
puggfuggly 0
gross crocs. I roll with Details garden clogs that's were shit is at. ( only at home tho, or else your outa luck. PAL) bitchez don't know bout my 401k
kelzen 0
YDI for not using the vibrator on her for her YDI for having a gf who doesn't want to have intercourse with you.
iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0
Hun u have a pic of the jonas bro and his ugly wife..get over ur self...BET SHE'S KNOCKED UP
dickster 0
pwincessa, you have no room to speak. You yourself cannot type correctly, so do not insult others in that category. OP so? It's not the end of the world. At least she is trying to be chaste. Also, OP's brothers' girlfriend does show slutty nature. All that's missing are fish nets. But at least you will get STDs later than your brother.
xXLenaXx 0
@178, how is a girl wearing heels slutty? How is having sex with your boyfriend slutty? She clearly bought them from different shops, how does that mean she will wear them WHILE having sex? Your statement is so full of fail, it hurts.
MrM420 0
lmao 180. still she could wear the heels during sex. kinky
nickjackgreene 2
seriously?
misspickles 0
I agree
ttremper 0
no his gf sounds lez
xXLenaXx 0
OC, the entire reason (apart from looking putrid) that people hate crocs is that they're the most obnoxious inanimate objects a human can own. Their colour and shape and entire being shoves itself into everyone's face. They're like CAPS LOCK in shoe form.
Sargon_of_Akkad 0
I believe people on the internet just like to type out the word "*****". Really...who are we to judge who're ******?
otheriBlair 0
sad life he has huh
skyttlz 32
Crocs are so ugly! When I was younger I got pink ones lol I only wore them around the house. Oh and their not even comfy!!
perrino123 0
you forgot fat old ladies
loveanthony645 5
The brother's girlfriend is in no way a ***** or ****. What she bought was for her boyfriend and hopefully only him. I see nothing wrong with that.
ksquizzle 0
fyl for sucking in bed
sexy_babe_123 0
wow haha tht is sad.. THREESOME (while ur gf is home doing herself
_princess61522_ 0
ewww but then he would be having sex with his brother, that's disguisting! :P
UmbreonKirby 14
It's okay when it's in a one-two-threeway
happybillie 0
ha!xD
Save_Bandit 5
how do you know what they bought? did they show you?
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
337294 0
hahahaha u mad me lol
billieb_fml 0
aww just try harder? ;-P
pippymiskers 4
lol "harder"
KaintukeeBob 13
No, try faster. No, slower. No, softer. No, up!
SettoFail 9
haha
DeathMaple 3
Lamb of God!!!
lmjmcrfan 0
you must wish that crock was your ****.
RainbowxxVeinsx 17
Why so she can be stepping on it all day like she does her shoes? You fail at this joke, sir.
hereforthehour01 0
lol FAIL
imababeee 0
lol 14 how does that work ?
Team_Los 0
Fail lmao the joke should've been you wish she'd sell that vibrator so everyone can stop calling you a masterbater
jrp11 0
Too funny :)
pimpstatus 0
lol dam replaced by a vibrator.. either get yourself a new gf or a inflateable doll
clairesucks 37
An inflatable girlfriend? That's kinda creepy
hippies_fml 0
maybe she was just doing some shopping for you