Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
fusebox 0
crocs. fail
briissocoollike 8
Orange crocs are really sexy so don't hate
TheWildRover 3
Also, it seems pretty likely that the only time that you've ever even SEEN a ****** was in your "Sex Ed" classes that you keep talking about.
GraceyGirl523 9
I like your girlfriend better then your brothers *****.
baseballgirl2100 0
maybe shes a lesbian but doesnt want anyone to think that so she goes out with you.
Miouya 0
Lol you are now not needed
mcqknight2015 0
She still your girlfriend? (I think the vibrator was a hint)
abmullis 0
hmmm well I guess we know whose sex life is better, huh?
chandlerbelacic 17
Awww :(
meganpayton 3
fake.