Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML
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Top comments
zelly05 0
vibrator - 1 you - 0 lol
CitrusGirl 0
quit whining OP. Maybe your girlfriend has better things to do than you
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Comments (118)
masked812 0
brothers gf sounds like a win your gf well time for a new one.....
masked812 0
#56 don't ever get one.... they are for the pathetic who can't get any or anyone good
MrM420 0
ydi for thinking the vibrator was meant as a replacement. Maybe you have a kinky gf.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#166 The falsity of your statement annoys me.
cademj 0
Hahahaha......she sounds like a keeper......
buddyboy50000000 0
well we kno whose not gettin laid
kimbowee 0
Today, I went shopping with a friend. She bought sexy high heels and condoms to have fun with her boyfriend. I bought crocs and a vibrator since his brother can't get the job done. FML
xsam4296x 0
Maybe she wants something in the front while she is giving head? Maybe your bros gf is doin tons of others too but being safe so she won't pass it to him? She would still be a ****, just a safe one.
Lithicus 0
Cut her loose. Plenty of fish in the sea.
fishycanswim 0
Oh Crocs... You are the downfall in society.
hutsko 0
OP sounds gay for saying 'killer heels'. OP is a guy, right??
purplerawr 0
hm. think that means you should give your girl a little more lovin ;D