Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my daughter babysit her two-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
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Top comments
carecow 16
Just make sure the kid does not get any strange ideas for what the hide and seek rules are in the future, kindergarten might get wierd.
cheesyfeet2001 31
Was it their 'special place'?
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Comments (75)
cheesyfeet2001 31
Was it their 'special place'?
DFMLharsh 20
That special place ain't special anymore. Or secretive, in that matter.
Mobetta_2300 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
May I ask how old your brother is?
ironmany_fml 23
no, you may not.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
I guess they didn't hide very well.
carecow 16
Just make sure the kid does not get any strange ideas for what the hide and seek rules are in the future, kindergarten might get wierd.
flyingmind_fml 17
they learn so fast those little demons !
thejonac 21
i'm sorry OP, but i'm not sure that your brother is suitable for babysitting your kid. it seems he can't even have some self-control in front of a child for a few hours
Gunny20 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least you three year old isn't screaming that he wants to be a pimp! Hope you sort this out, and get a refund (If you payed him), and to get rid of the noises, just get him to watch frozen.
sonasonic 34
Watching Frozen won't magically heal the mental scars of a 3-year-old child.....
Gunny20 25
#54, it will however get them to stop making sex noises.
DFMLharsh 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oink oink oink?
Welshite 40
You must not be allowed to be within 1000 ft of pig farms if that's what you think having sex sounds like.
DFMLharsh 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Laugh and scroll down. Why you so butt hurt, bruh?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Your comment wasn't funny though... why would we laugh?
Shrukian 5
I have seen alot of comments from you and none of them were funny.
teapotrevolt 27
Oh wow! I would be furious. That can mentally scar a child. I wouldn't want my child around that. I'm sad this has happened to your child.
Zebediabolical 45
It won't scar a child if you don't make a huge deal out of it in front of the child.
Selene1090 26
It can trigger curiosity, obviously. And that's how the "playing doctor" starts and next thing you know another child is involved. It can actually cause some problems. We have problems with my nephew because his mother didn't know how to be more careful with the kids home and he is really inappropriate at times. So I would be furious and keeping an eye on my child and explaining things in an age-appropriate manner as best I could.
Zebediabolical 45
At 3 years old most kids won't take anything much from it other than the obvious imitation of noises. Don't make a big deal out of it (in their presence) and the chances of it affecting a 3 year old are pretty slim.
Selene1090 26
It's a very crucial part in their development, both physically and mentally. Ever heard the expression "Children's minds are like a sponge"?
teapotrevolt 27
All I'm saying is that it CAN scar children. Doesn't mean it will in this particular instance, and it was nothing terribly traumatizing, however it could been worse. I hear all the time about kids being put in this kinda of situations, (ie molestation) and they can't cope when they get older. All fun and games until someone loses their mind.
majesticprincess 19
Hand him the bill for your child's therapy.
erin55378 17
Time to find a new babysitter