Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
omglolydi 0
Today, I called my girlfriend on the way to the hospital after I had been mugged. She thought I was joking. When I asked if she would like to speak to the paramedic taking care of me, she called me a nuisance. I wasn't joking. FML
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Wow, you are a jackass. I hope he dumps you.
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Comments (164)
lucie_fml 0
BITCH. :)
Bryan_Z 0
if my gf did that to me, id never talk to her again....
frozen_heart 0
wow you're a bitch, guess your boyfriend knows where he stands with you i hope he dumps your uncaring, selfish ass. he deserves better.
heygirlhey044 0
um yeah. what a bitch. that was really not appropriate and i would probably never come in contact with you again. like everyone else says, i really hope he dumps you.
moosing 0
Total crazy bitch. Yes, it might be April Fool's day, but what if you were raped on April's fools day, you call your boyfriend to tell him and he laughs at you? Yeah, you'd probably dump him on the spot, too.
raechel 0
Ice queen!
texmas 0
What the **** is wrong with you?
Person_Man 0
You dumb bitch! I hope he breaks up with you and starts dating someone hotter!
Jammin_44 0
Seriously, **** YOUR Life???!!!! **** his life, man. you, miss, are what the world calls a bitch.
YouMustBe_Joking 0
You ******* bitch the fact that you would say **** YOUR life to this and not **** HIS life proves that you are self-centered and terrible at life.