Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Sneaky
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
It's true, though
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
People of Walmart
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Kids these days…
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Dumbass
Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML
Pissed to meet you
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
Top comments
Willibobs 33
Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.
WCARlover 35
I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model
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Comments (221)
Ilikepie82479 20
Wow... Why do people think this is okay?
MortenM 17
What part do you not think is OK? Anal? Cleaning? Or judging people based on an overheard conversation?
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't knock it till you try it
Maycontainnuts 17
I think they were referring to adults telling teenage girls that to have a healthy relationship they need to give the man whatever sexual pleasure he wants.
MortenM 17
You probe-ably misread it. OP only mentions anal. It is not fair to add extra to the post
incoherentrmblr 22
Advice at Walmart. Brought to you by the People of Walmart...
skyeeskellington 17
Or maybe talking about it in public?
doctorhook86 25
#1: I know, right? Judging people for discussing habits that offend OP makes them the worst people ever.
BirdMockingBlack 12
Again, that's not the point. It's the fact that an older woman is giving obscene relationship advice to a young girl.
Jonkbaby 23
Florida
kieralumina 30
that's a really awkward conversation to overhear, especially if it was between a customer and an employee. its more of an f the girl's life.
RayneSmytson 24
It was a mother and daughter. An employee (OP) Judy decided to overhear and be judgemental.
clairesucks 37
Where does it say anything them being mother and daughter?
cakefete2 31
She's just an asshole, OP. **** her.
Jeeper4Life 20
I see what you did there.
onlychildFTW 34
I don't think Todd and Margo liked him in his shorty robe. Haha.
RoamingHobo 9
Anal is overrated anyway.
stephers667 7
That's only cause you can't get it yourself!
badluckalex 23
It is safe to say the FML community is in favor of the buttsex.
iamflintpro 15
Every guy wants anal at least once
MDoremis 38
I know plenty of men that don't.
newzealand 28
"Don't"
papygeorges 17
Tried it, won't ever do that shit again. But That's just me!
MDoremis 38
#30, my husband is absolutely disgusted by the concept. He's not the only man I've known who detests the idea. So yes, don't is the correct word.
Mauskau 36
If I was a guy, and I was gay, I'd hate it. Anal is horrible on either ends of it. It's nice for some people, but it can cause lasting damage to the receiver.
Likian5 26
I'm a guy, but I never want to try anal. As far as I'm concerned, that's exit only.
BrotherPhil 35
To quote Heinlein: "Take it slowly, and use lots of lubricant, or you'll be buying fur coats for proctologist's wives".
WCARlover 35
I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model
19990231 29
#7, Just because someone has certain sexual preferences doesn't mean they can't be a good role model. Do you view all gay men as horrible role models because they have different sexual views?
Noreason89 6
@49 telling a teenager in a public place that anal is the best way to keep a man isnt very role modely
19990231 29
Although I agree that the environment was not the best choice, the topic may have come up unexpectedly. That does not mean that the mother is terrible.
Maycontainnuts 17
Enjoying anal doesn't make you a bad role model - telling young girls they need to do it in order to have a lasting relationship, does.
19990231 29
Fair enough, I am willing to concede that I am wrong and that you make a good point. I still disapprove of OP's attitude and word choice.
kieralumina 30
@#80 what is there to disapprove of? "if you want a man to actually stay with you then you have to wash your anus so it will be presentable because you absolutely need to give him anal." that is basically what the woman said to the teen.
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
The fact that he called them sick freaks which is being very judgmental when he didn't fully here the conversation
MandieL 27
I agree, op has no right to judge this person in the first place, especially from overhearing part of a conversation.
19990231 29
101, 103, Took the words right out of my mouth.
Dt33345 13
What do you expect, it's Walmart.
NotPatSajak 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That kind of shit makes me hate people even more.
Willibobs 33
Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.
Ardeku 15
seconded. to each their own.
dragonladiesfire 19
I agree with #10 as well. There are worse things in the world.
tygerarmy 35
The only freaks are people who don't clean their shitter, because that's basic hygiene, and people who can't accept that some people enjoy things they don't.
MrConcise 35
#37 - Maybe some people like their donuts crusty. Freak.
teentee401 37
I'd agree with you if the lady wasn't teaching this to a teenage girl...
delude 26
Yeah but she's a teenager. She could be 13 or 18 we don't know
W_Surgenor 7
You're obviously a ******* idiot.
Tyrez 32
People like you are why the bar is so lowered in society.
khaoticpanda 28
Im really disappointed by how far i had to scroll to find this answer. Honestly the judgement is too far. Without having any more context its not fair to pass judgement, especially keeping in mind 'teen' doesnt have to mean like 14. Its not like the internet never exaggerates for a story.
Marcella1016 32
Yeah the "sick freaks" thing bothered me too. Normally I agree their life sucks, but when they come off as all judgmental and holier than thou, I get annoyed. I think some people like to add stuff like that ("I can't believe I'm related to this idiot" etc.) on FMLs that are situations that happened to someone other than them so they can relate it to themselves. But, OP, sick freaks...I mean, come on. Some sexual activities may disgust you, but to each his/her own. The woman offering such advice on "how to keep a man" to a teenager, though, I agree is pretty horrible. Would love to know how old the teen actually was.
tygerarmy 35
#77 Delude; teenager covers 13-19 you are correct. But your comment makes it seem like talking to a 13 year old about sex is wrong. 13 year olds have sex. Now in this case the actual conversation is weird. But, when I have kids I'd like them to know about sex before they make the decision to have it.
fsomelife 26
I think the reason OP referred to this woman as a sick freak wasn't because of the part about what to do in bed, but for what reason it's to be done.
a1_z9 10
Yeah, I interpreted 'sick freaks' as being people who tell teenage girls that they have to have anal sex. I get being irritated when people appear to shame your sexual preferences, but adults giving advice like that to people who are more likely to take it to heart is pretty bad.
exo_went_insane 12
There is a difference between anal as a totally acceptable sex practice and selling anal as the key to keeping a guy for life. I think "sick freak" is appropriate in this case. The lady is basically ******* with the girl's romantic compass.
snoopcatt_fml 10
I think maybe he meant the woman was a "sick freak" because she was telling this to a teenager that she HAS to give anal to keep a guy for life which is just horrible advice
lostmongoose 23
Couldn't people be taking this a little to seriously? Even when I was a teenager my mom and I would have some pretty strange conversations, I could even see her saying something like this (in public even), but it would be in jest. Just because it was said doesn't make it actual life advise. Now if it was a stranger, yeah that's creepy
lalaney 14
Exactly my reaction.
walkingspastic 22
Glad to see I wasn't the only one with this outlook!!
imbedderdenu 23
um pretty sure op was referring to the fact that she was talking to a TEENAGER! WTF is wrong with you people? Not only that but the absolute CRASS language used and the fact that she assumes that it's the only way to 'keep a man'. It's a great way to show a young girl that a REAL man will only love you if he can put it in your ass. Awesome. No wonder out society is degrading at such a high rate of speed.
ColonelCusswords 24
Do you not have the internet, or....?