Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
Why wouldn't he just call his mom in the first place? And why would he rather have his mom help him than his fiance? Anyway, good luck OP!
Faff 20
maybe it wasn't something really bad. I once got arrested for drawing a cow on a bathroom wall.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Tell his mom that he told you to tell your mom to tell his mom's aunt's niece to talk about what happened.
MyNameIsViet 15
What the hell are you smoking?
SmallyBigs 9
And where can I get some?
Imhere4fml 24
By the looks of your picture, seems you already some.
A_nonny_moose1 28
What was he arrested for?
Faff 20
maybe it wasn't something really bad. I once got arrested for drawing a cow on a bathroom wall.
nnnope 26
Dinkleberrrrrggg
octopussperm125 18
I got arrested for public urination, disorderly conduct, and public drunkenness once, ........good times
MrBrightside21 20
17 - Not for the kids on the playground. Public urination is not a joke.
HeartOfLead 24
He was caught riding a unicorn naked, both of which are illegal in my state.
zero91 4
so did you help him call?
hannaaaahr 33
Why wouldn't he just call his mom in the first place? And why would he rather have his mom help him than his fiance? Anyway, good luck OP!
andyyroxx 20
Exactly, why doesn't he have his own mother's number?
OverFlash 15
Maybe his mum's a pain in the ass to get in contact with. You only get one phone call, and the cops probably won't give a shit if they don't pick up.
enormouselephant 15
To add, maybe he needed to get ahold of his mom because it would be easier for her to help financially. Also, calling your fiancé is common curtesy. He probably knew that she would answer, help him get his mom, and also to let her know he wasn't going to be there on time and where he was.
Keevarou 17
The good news is that he can call you when he have trouble, and he seems like a decent enough guy since you assumed that he called to say he were waiting outside ^^ But I am kinda curious of why he was arrested though.. But I hope that do not crack your relationship or something, everyone can do something wrong at timea
sirpantselot 22
That sucks - clocking off is supposed to be a relief
Pleonasm 36
"Well isn't that convenient for you... AND the clock."
Enslaved 38
If the OP is clocking out and thinking her fiancé is outside waiting, that probably means he's her ride. He called to inform her he won't be picking her up. :P And why not have her call his mom? Maybe his mother would be able to help more in that type of situation.
wlddog 14
I have no idea why you are getting voted down Enslaved. It makes sense to me.
Enslaved 38
Thank you! (: Sometimes seeing thumbs down leads to mass hysteria. Water off a duck's back. :P
THuD29 4
Be nice so he doesn't get upset and cry about it
Crazynopantsman 11
He's probably gonna cry when he meets Bubba.
hannaaaahr 33
Hahahahahahaha, seriously? OP should be nice for her fiancé because he got arrested for something? Sure, she could show some sympathy or something, but your first thought being; 'be nice or he might cry', seems a bit stupid. He's a grown man, who got himself in jail, if OP wants to get mad at him for getting himself into this situation, she has all the right to.
RodGD 6
Don't get too upset, these things happen. However, if this is not the first time he's gotten arrested I'd think real hard about why I was with a person with multiple arrests.
cupcakechick 17
because you love them...
spaboolly 26
33- For your own sake, please grow up and join the real world before you have to learn those lessons the hard way from a horrible, abusive partner that you stay with because you "love" him.
J08J 20
What does "clocking out" mean? Sorry, I'm not from a country with English as the main language
Schiffy 18
Pay no mind to comment #16, it refers to leaving work at the end of your shift. The term comes from when many jobs still used time-cards, and the terms "clocking in" and "clocking out" were used to describe the process of stamping said cad at the beginning and end of the day.
J08J 20
#20, Thank you.
TheAbstract 15
I prefer 16s definition.
hannaaaahr 33
Wait, #16's definition isn't the right one? No wonder I got fired..
Llama_Face89 34
20- come on now that doesn't make any sense. Stop trying to confuse the poor guy.
ms_YoungMula 8
If only 20 was cool enough to keep it going
Rababco 29
@20 I'm from America and "clock out" isn't a term I hear very often, maybe it's an older phrase that isn't used that much anymore.