Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
omglolydi 0
Today, I called my girlfriend on the way to the hospital after I had been mugged. She thought I was joking. When I asked if she would like to speak to the paramedic taking care of me, she called me a nuisance. I wasn't joking. FML
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Wow, you are a jackass. I hope he dumps you.
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Comments (164)
speakxtinaaaaaa 0
what a stupid ****. #9, You need to go back to grammar school. Maybe don't try to tell people off when you don't know to differentiate between "your" and "you're."
Hockeylover87_71 0
stop being such a god damn grammar Nazi. I'm sure everyone knew what 9 was trying to say, what does it matter to you whether it's "proper"? hey what's your salary for being the FML grammar cop?
TryToBeKind 0
That would make sense if he's the type to play jokes like that. A few years back, my friend Wendy (who had been in abusive relationships before and is high-functioning scizophrenic (sp.?) made a post in her blog about how her current bf beat her and how she'd been keeping it secret. It was so well-written that we took it seriously. The 'best part' was the part where she said she started beating him back after 'blanking out' and the next things she knew, blood was everywhere and . . . she was posting from a coffee shop and leting us know that util she settled somewhere we might not hear from her. Most of us took it seriously. It was too well-written and funny for us to be mad at her tho, her bf laughed his ass off for 45 minutes straight. So I think you just have bad luck.
Jaxro 6
OP, I would have done the same thing. If you call me in the middle of the night I'm probably not going to care about what you have to say. Dying or not, I love my sleep.
squirm 0
Aww poor you. April fools is crap.
arstef90 5
#43 What a narcissist! I hope with that attitude that you never get seriously involved with someone.
dancing_bear 0
I think it's really unfair everyone's calling her a bitch. It was the middle of the night, so presumably she was disorientated from just waking up. Also "I told him to **** off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke" - maybe I'm wrong, but that implied to me that she said something along the lines of "**** off, that's a horrible April Fool's joke", not just "**** off". And we don't know, he could be the type who's played jokes like this before. Anyway, I hope he was all right.
Cheyyyy 0
You're a horrible girlfriend. And besides, even if it was a joke, you don't need to act like that!
Neenertastic 0
way too many telephone blunders these days...ruining so many relationships...sigh
Superman8_fml 0
#41 my comment was a joke, sarcasim, get it? and you're a ******* bitch, trying to tear people down for little mistakes, I suppose that fills whatever insecurities you may have though, right? **** off and take your shit elsewhere, because i WILL destroy you.
SassyOkie 9
Big talk from someone behind a computer/cell phone screen :)
ohhboyy 0
okay so three things: 1.) #6, you arent funny at all 2.) why was your bf out in the middle of the night? 3.) trust someone you love?