blegh
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
fucked by sex ed
Manchester, United States
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
TheVirginJenny
Spanaway, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
aces10
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Admit it
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Anonymous
Little shit
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
KoNi
France 🌶️ Spicy
Early start
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
baldiesmom
🌶️ Spicy
My kid, the playa
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Anonymous
United Arab Emirates
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Soon…
Today, my 16 year-old nephew gave me advice on how to get laid. At age 30, I'm still a virgin. FML
clapping_for_you
🌶️ Spicy
Sex ed 101
Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML
Top comments
ddinspire6 10
Say yes.
dpope06 0
guessing no one had the "talk" with him. lol fyl and your sons
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Comments (370)
ddinspire6 10
Say yes.
hbbs93 6
See how long it take him to figure out the truth.
FunwithBumperCar 0
Obviously he is the 2nd coming of christ
StoryOfTheYear 15
You mean 3rd right? Tim Tebow was born before him.
heyguysitsjosh 8
Maybe she should ask why he wants to know in the first place.
Xathanos 16
OP is a guy ._.
pertained 12
Nice education
LunaDragon 10
What #1 said, and tell him that mommy's and daddy's go to a magical baby store, and a stork delivered him, smh.
milkndstufff 7
"Yes, you're adopted."
monkeysareyummy 0
Petrie dish baby.
xoconnie 8
25- you rock. and maybe he was kidding- they teach sex ed in health class at school. in mine we learned in ninth grade!!!!
ehllychan 10
123: In my country we don't have that. Maybe not in OP's either?
KeyboardWarrior 10
123 You learned that in ninth? They teach it in 6th here. Where do you live? And I'm not trying to sound like a douche, it's a legit question. Edit: Nevermind, I checked your profile. Weird that they teach it do late over there.
KeyboardWarrior 10
So*
Manganimegrl 16
136- I got sex ed in sixth, and I live in the States. Must be a different state.
crazy_whitechick 6
Wow... We had the class in 4th... And yes I live in the states
juliahockey 0
I got sex-Ed from sixth to eighth here in Canada. Weird if OP doesn't know...
unitedfan11 0
If he knows what a virgin is, then he should know that you're not.
This2Rudy 7
Omg it's an assassin, lol I'm obsessed with assassins creed I've played all the games (this comment is toward #35)
This2Rudy 7
*#35
goldiefox 0
"Yes, you were immaculately conceived, son." -_-
noncom 12
#123 Well knowing Brits, they probably wouldn't have sex ed class.
BaconBoy75 2
Tell him yes, and so is his mom.
ohmylanta22 5
100 made my day.
arcanevandal 0
When I lived in Texas, there was no sex ed class. All of that information was taught in Biology class.
sinking_fish 12
I am so incredibly glad that I'm not the only one that hates Tim Tebow. :3
abcdeghijklmn 0
Ha Canada
MisterDoctor 12
He probably heard the Chuck Norris joke, "Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad".
cathyfang1533 12
Tell him that you produced him asexually...
girl112891 7
We learned about puberty in 5th and sex in 8th and went over it through 9th in Hollywood, Ca. Didn't stop all the teen pregnancies though. Saw plenty of that.
ThaBeasty01 5
we've got a genius here !
1221jamw 11
Poor storyoftheyear. All he wanted was to be funny.
jpest17 5
******* idiots everywhere was is a past tence, probably asking if op was Virgin b4 marriage!
Zeppelin1969 5
I'm sorry, but your son is literally too stupid to insult.
Alicia17C 2
297- OP said was because he posted this after his son asked him the question. Everyone was a virgin at some point. Your an idiot.
Zeppelin1969 5
301- you're**
ajserr 3
I'm a virgin... You're adopted
C_L_Arctos 5
Then see how fast the confusion makes his head explode...
jmanh 6
Lolololol I forget your comment
JerryClark 17
Like #666
bee716 0
aww...poor kid.
StoryOfTheYear 15
*shoots MrMisfit*
ImSoSloth 0
33- In your bio it says you like Nickelback. So it's actually you who needs to be shot.
StoryOfTheYear 15
37- I'm sorry my opinion is different than yours. I don't care to judge someone by what they listen to, and I don't care what people think of the music I like.
ImSoSloth 0
42- I'm just judging you because you shot an innocent bystander.
StoryOfTheYear 15
"In your bio it says you like Nickelback. So it's actually you that needs to be shot." "I'm just judging you because you shot an innocent bystander." Lol. Whatever, I'm not going to contribute anything more to this as to not to stir the pot on the subject any more.
stevenJB 25
LMAO!!! I hate nickel back, but I have to admit anberlin IS my favorite.
Pacifica1165 13
I don't really like Nickelback, but I respect 55's way of communicating with people online. Because (1) even though I don't like Nickelback, I'm really tired of people trolling or complaining about other people's taste in music. We all have different opinions and like different things and should respect that. And (2) unlike most commenters I see, he didn't get provoked into a massive immature argument. Although I do think that MrMisFit was probably just joking around xD
mfjkr 10
What about the "Blade of Unicorn"? MrMissfit is that enough?
supnowww 0
Shaking my mf'ing head
StoryOfTheYear 15
I can has trollings?
SheldonCooper47 0
I love nickelback the dude just wants some attention lol ;)
dpope06 0
guessing no one had the "talk" with him. lol fyl and your sons
Gringe 1
Disney corporation payed them massive amounts of money?
lalala2589 0
Looks like you guys raised a real winner!
Freeze_fml 17
It's what people interested in a sole partner commit to. What's your point?
whippymcdumb4zs 0
57- you need to be shot for commenting on a thread with a comment that is extremely retarded. If you're going to be all sad and depressed that your (sarcasm start) smart and witty (end sarcasm) comment won't get seen to the point you place an unrelated, blatant display of you ignorance and stupidity into a comment thread that has been open almost as long as the post itself, then maybe you should just turn off whatever device you're using this app/website on and relentlessly beat yourself with the entire world book encyclopedia set until the thought of posting such a retarded comment vanishes from your mind.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
And as for the Jonas brothers I am proud to say my ears have never been tainted with their pitiful attempt at music
whippymcdumb4zs 0
The whole point of my rant was " post comments relevant to the thread." And being a 16 year old retard is no excuse for posting irrelevant comments on a thread. Sorry for the flooding modz don't be mad... *hides behind couch*
laden_swallow09 35
… Nevermind.
lakaiskate 12
SHe could have been artificially pregnated
ohmylanta22 5
OP is a man...
AlaskanEskimo34 0
I would tell him he's adopted
Rddvl 11
Guess it's time for the "talk."
blackstar994 5
They held it off for a bit. This days you don't even need the talk. Just watch a movie and find out.
AngrehPirate 0
The birds and the bees :D
humorizer 14
My parents prohibited me from going to sex ed, and never gave me "the talk". I had to learn about it on my own when I read about how parakeets have babies. It still took me a few years to figure out which hole the baby shoots out from.
clumsychik 1
I got the talk right after my 4th birthday. Apparently I said "Mommy, I already know all about that" and walked away.
darf1023 3
I got it when I was 6-7. My parents proceeded to use my Red Power Ranger toy, and my "The Rock" actionfigure as the boy & girl. They also used one of my toy cars...
ICanSpellToTen_fml 1
Ask him who taught him sex ed?
Mitcha857 0
Sounds like no one taught him sex Ed. Either that or OP's son is a complete moron
Klove4205 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok he is freaking 18 just explain the damn thing to him
frankothetanko 0
you an ugly mofo
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
Ur freaking stupid ha ha ha
chels1994 11
Exactly. He's 18. Hence the FML.
Psychotic_EGG 0
Technically losing your virginity is to be penetrated sexually. So he's asking if his father has been sexually penetrated. Most heterosexual males are virgins by that definition.
alex6946 10
Maybe he's just joking, I hope he is...
yomommma 6
Me Too
LouisianaBob 9
or insinuating that his father is some other man
Isabelana 5
OP - uhh, no offense, but YDI for not giving him the talk..
remz89 3
But by 18 the sons a idiot for not knowing...... I mean seriously how naive could he possibly be?
Inciter 33
Ask him if he knows how babies are made.
crchara 3
if he knows what a virgin is, he might very well know how babies are made.
crchara 3
but then again.. he had to ask one of his parents if they are a virgin..
thisisafunnyname 12
the only way he's not high or stupid is if he was adopted.
J3NNI3LYNN 9
Or if OP is not his biological father
yummylicious 5
I feel bad for you but even worse for him.