Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML
Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
Today, my mother brought my sex life in front of an entire family gathering. I lost my virginity at 17 and when she found out she called me a whore. This time, she told the family I'd slept with 100 men by the time I was 18. I’m 40 and my body count is 10. FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Whose fault is that? Join the local swingers club and you can rack up numbers your kid will struggle to match! Go, girl!
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Whose fault is that? Join the local swingers club and you can rack up numbers your kid will struggle to match! Go, girl!
Jonkbaby 23
If it makes you feel better, it sounds like you made a great choice in a partner