Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
missamerica95 0
People these days. Seriously? If you're old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to work through petty arguments. Grow up.
Crazynopantsman 11
What the hell.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (160)
missamerica95 0
People these days. Seriously? If you're old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to work through petty arguments. Grow up.
marsrover12 0
I'm just wondering... What does OP mean? Thanks
thejewishfuhrer 17
Orange peanut. You're welcome.
royalzephyr 3
U have a pole in ur ass fuckbag
missamerica95 0
Marsrover12 it means original poster. Welcome to FML :)
Amethyst888 14
Oversized pineapples is what I always thought it meant, original poster makes so much more sense though thank you! :)
thiscrazything 1
Or, at least act out that you're grown up. Then you can act out make up sex.
mfenton 3
Why are you so rude? People share this stuff so you can laugh. Don't gotta be a bitch. Read it. Laugh. Move on. This isn't a "fix your relationship" site.
Fasterkill 6
Why is honesty viewed as being rude? She was right. If you're old enough to participate in sexy times, then you should be old enough to work through arguments. It's a simple concept; easy to understand. Rude? I don't think so.
BubbleGrunge 18
Mfenton-before telling someone they are rude and in the same breath a bitch, learn some grammar. "Don't gotta," sure does add to my assumption that you are both a hypocrite and an idiot!
ittsdann 6
Hey I just fcked you And this is crazy But delete my number And abort the baby
Danny0522 8
62- excuse me, but I thought the point of this site was to highlight the stupidity of people. And this was pretty stupid. If you were trying to avoid rudeness, why are you on the internet?
jadanoryse 11
True True
wallandpiece 16
I always thought OP stood for Original Penguin.
klovemachine 24
68,69, and 75 = FAIL! don't hate, appreciate :D
kyarush 10
Insecurities... Gotta love em'
peachyFML 17
*You don't have to be a bitch. Read it, laugh, then move on. All better!
spekledworf 18
Sooo how bout that imaginary make up sex?
marsrover12 0
Okay thanks:)
pavlovaaLOVE 7
I agree #1. So childish!!! Who the hell would argue over imaginary people ... Actually that's more childish than children behaviour. Maybe it's better u didn't have sex this time.. Reduces the risk of reproduction
Daederoth 10
You call that kinky? Lame.
Zaynlyon 2
Lol all you people take this so seriously, no-one really argues over this stuff, half the posts on fml are probably made up. If it somehow is true, i agree with 1
i_lik_tomaters 21
Op stands for over large penises
tastico 2
Did it lead to an imaginary fight?
chetchatter 5
uhh... does it say it lead to a real fight?... lol
PrimeEvilTahir 24
The way the IQ seem to work with this couple, I wouldn't be surprised if OP's boyfriend breaks up for the imaginary girl...
Crazynopantsman 11
What the hell.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
If OP's imagination is so good that she fought over an imaginary girl, I think she should just imagine having sex...
22cute 17
Come on, Op, pull yourself together! It takes two to argue. Just stop trying to 'win' and win the relationship back.
skoob1 12
Do you want to be right, or get a *******? Or something like that...
BMC1999 0
It's so ****** true!
codyjohn17 5
Doesn't matter had..... Oh wait....
HassanImran 0
Doesn't matter had...uhm..
idoam 8
I would be so happy if no one ever referenced this awful line again.
olpally 33
Doesn't matter, broke up.... There, I said it... *cue the thumbs down*
fuzz97 23
what
SkoomaKi 28
^ Everything went better than expected.
Jumpingmal2 7
^^reverse psychology FTW
courtz94 24
Wow you should have been able to work things out. If he's still not talking to you, then that's immature. Just saying.
Honestly_Lainey 21
Who's more likely to get upset and start an argument over a girl in a club(whether the club is real or not)? Hmm?? If OP is flippin shit because of a make-believe girl, I think it's safe to say that the boyfriend in the scenario isn't the more immature one. Just saying.
SpottedZebra42 14
I doubt that the man is the problem considering OP said "I didn't have sex" instead of "we didn't have sex."
caplox 6
And an imaginary break-up
Da_Bauss435 8
Don't forget the imaginary "divorce" on facebook
DespairFaction 11
Sounds like a good time for imaginary make up sex aka **********.
downtime 13
Since in the imaginary scenario she's just some loony idiot who just met him and is making accusations that he's cheating on her, there was no imaginary break up, but I think she may have ended up eating some imaginary Ben & Jerrys and spending the rest of her life with her imaginary cats.
badbadkitty 5
I would say: try role playing out some more traditional scenarios before trying to make the plot line so complex....
IQWasJustLowered 0
like he is a mexican apple theif
amandajlucas2015 2
That's Wut I was thinking like the kinky nurse or school teacher.. A club is just boring
SydMadrid 0
Did he leave to have a one night stand with her?
banana_buddy 6
If he did would that be considered cheating or imaginary cheating?
llamafish 25
I think it might fall under masturbation, actually.
mal2012 4
Hahaha!
JustDerpin 11
sounds like a bad TV show...
KnightAngela1109 10
Maybe you should see a imaginary counselor.
dhall30 8
If she starts seeing an imaginary counselor, she might need to see a real psychologist.
SloppyFlamingo 4
I'm not really a grammar nazi, but one thing that makes me cringe is when people don't use "an" in the right place. I'm not trying to correct you. I'm just wondering if it bothers anyone else.
mrlopez 13
A +1 for being a Grammar Nazi can sometimes also be a -1 for being too politically correct. When all else fails, try humor. Works all the time.