Today, as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with, "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying, "By him, I mean Jesus." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML
Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
Today, I was at work, finishing a presentation for my boss. Five minutes after I presented it to him, his boss walked in and asked for the same presentation I had just given. My boss presented it. His boss then turned to me and asked me, "What use are you around here?" FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
doomsdayaddams 6
I gotta say, that’s one of the most creative saves I’ve ever heard.
1ninjanina 7
I am a female with short hair, and I don’t dress very feminine most of the time. I’ve been mistaken for a male many times. I am not offended, because it’s my choice to have short hair and dress the way I do. It’s more uncomfortable for the people making the mistake. (Though long hair on guys is becoming more common, now, so I’m not sure growing my hair out would help. Lol) My point is, for me, it’s not an FML.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
You should shave your beard off so you don’t look like the Prince of Peace.
1ninjanina 7
I am a female with short hair, and I don’t dress very feminine most of the time. I’ve been mistaken for a male many times. I am not offended, because it’s my choice to have short hair and dress the way I do. It’s more uncomfortable for the people making the mistake. (Though long hair on guys is becoming more common, now, so I’m not sure growing my hair out would help. Lol) My point is, for me, it’s not an FML.
Glowworm56 27
So does that now make you Cafe Christ?
BurnInDemonFire 39
You forgave him, didn't you?
doomsdayaddams 6
I gotta say, that’s one of the most creative saves I’ve ever heard.
Chris Smith_1291676952 8
That's smooth af. It's happened to everyone.