Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
MA_medQ 7
It’s not really an FML for you though, is it? Hopefully, you can take him to the doctor, get it fixed and then it’s a valuable lesson learned for him. No big deal. If you mean it’s an FML for you because he didn’t make the connection between sex and it hurting when he pees then once again - it’s not really an FML for you, is it? More like an FML for him. Also, what’s up with the eclipses in this post?
BurnInDemonFire 39
UTI, kid. Wait... YDI? I'm so confused.
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Comments (18)
seasonedtoast 19
Round of applause
BurnInDemonFire 39
UTI, kid. Wait... YDI? I'm so confused.
MA_medQ 7
It’s not really an FML for you though, is it? Hopefully, you can take him to the doctor, get it fixed and then it’s a valuable lesson learned for him. No big deal. If you mean it’s an FML for you because he didn’t make the connection between sex and it hurting when he pees then once again - it’s not really an FML for you, is it? More like an FML for him. Also, what’s up with the eclipses in this post?
zuckerburg 21
It is an FML for them, they clearly failed at doing the one thing a parent should do, teach their children and have them grow up responsibly. "They should know better" is a phrase I've heard thrown around several times. No. No they don't know better. It's up to their parents to inform them and talk to them about it, especially considering his first time was clearly with the town-bicycle
1ninjanina 7
Eclipses? Ellipsis.
TumblrweedPasses 11
Not really a private discussion anymore is it Get him to the drs
404wan 19
wow, looks like that sex talk you had with him about protection, you know agains STDs and UNWANTED PREGNANCY, really paid off! Just kidding, you failed as a parent and now it's hoping that diseased **** isnt preggers! GOOD ON YOU for ffing the f out of your son's life.
Trenton Ward 2
wow way to be a ****
Blunt person 16
Downvoted because you can't spell
RichardPencil 32
Maybe you better have “the talk” with him until he tells you it hurts when he poops, too!
GamerChickxoxo 16
i like how everyone assumes he had sex with a girl....
tounces7 28
That's generally a pretty reasonable assumption unless it's specified otherwise.
tounces7 28
So apparently his first time was with the town bicycle.
A Frenchy in Eire 31
I put YDI because it sounds like you didn’t educate your son on safe sex and the risk of STDs. If he’s old enough to have sex, he should know about these things.
Diegoba12 16
I mean you don’t know if she did educate him and he chose to do it anyways just saying sex can be too fun if started young
Mistic1979 4
Looks like he got the clap on for the holidays.