Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Whaaaaat?
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Sex ed is broken
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Paternity test
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Wrap it up
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Bad grandparenting
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Good news
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Top comments
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
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Comments (177)
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
Awahso 25
Probably denial
skatoolaki 24
More like ignorance because no one ever sat this poor kid down and gave him "the talk".
mif_fml 27
Instead of the talk, have him watch the episode from South Park. Just get a boner, slap her ******* around a bit, then stick it inside her and pee. All the sex education you need.
hooligyn123 18
In fairness when I moderated this earlier it's wording was more similar to "Looks like I need to give him the sex talk again" So he very well may have once already...
lilhellian 27
If thats true then I knew something like that was missing!
vettle 6
She probably told him he was the father and then knowing how naive he was made up a story about how it happened without them having sex.
stevenJB 25
I've never been given the sex talk, and sex Ed didnt teach shit here. I took it upon myself to myself before I got into my first serious relationship.
ise3 10
Hes never been forced to read shakespeare? Shakespeare loves sex jokes. And some poor english teacher always has to explain because no one catches them.
stevenJB 25
To educate myself* oops.
Sparks808 10
The girl gave him the whole, "You ejaculated in the hot tub and they swam over to me" excuse.
joshiepo0 18
Oh Glee how you make teenagers look even more ignorant.
andrew6p 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I dunno what to say! Let's hope she doesnt have aids.
KingDead 18
#96, I'm glad you took it upon yourself.. Some people, if they're curious enough, will take it upon themselves to self education, but as they say, ignorance is bliss.. And the government knows people can operate this way.. Schools are corrupt.. All under a state of law jurisdiction for what material they bring to the school to be 'acceptable'.. And they control it so much, that they teach kids the fundamentals, but not be creative with life. Only what gets you by in life to contribute to how the system is. Serious lock down to keep every aspect the same. (Rant, somewhat off topic) sorry OP, but perhaps since the schools couldn't do it, get some sense into him with real talk and teach him how to think for himself.
KingDead 18
And #148.. Really? Did you not read the fml.. You don't know what to say and then add -that-... Joke? (Questionable)
doctorhook86 25
The boy must've got an "abstinence-only" (read: completely ineffective) sex education.
yetanotherginger 19
I thought that #148's joke was that if the girl had AIDS then OP's kid might be afraid that somehow he got that from her too?
tjv3 10
You should have talked to him about sex. Why leave it up to the school system? You are the parent, it's called parenting
andrew6p 19
I wasn't joking! If the mother has HIV, the baby will be an HIV+ infant! Why would I joke about an issue like that!?
swagmaster6969 4
poor kid. that's embarrassing
Anubis_81 21
More embarrassing that his mum (mom) had to break the news to him.
crazytwinsmom 25
See the gender.
crazytwinsmom 25
Sorry dup.
andrew6p 19
On the brightside, he didnt recieve the STD from her due to the fact that he's still a virgin
lambda_fml 40
He would have learnt alot more and alot sooner if he were on FML like his dad.
Ashley_Radke 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You should've given him the sex talk in Middle School. YDI.
smiley1014 23
I agree. The sex talk is the responsibility of the parents not the school!
lilhellian 27
But usually the schools teach it atleast as part of health class..
33Chilidog 6
In Indiana the government has their Health Department guys come Ito the schools and do it twice in 6th and 7th grade
gc327072 31
My school just showed us this vague video in the 5th grade. Good thing I had already heard, else I'd be damn confused. The only thing they put any effort to was this dude that came and talked about abstinence. *rolls eyes*
bamagrl410 31
I'm amazed the kid didn't hear from any of his friends or any type of online source first. But YDI for expecting the school system to take care of YOUR responsibility. They're not even fully efficient at academics, let alone health classes and such.
AKGirlinSD 20
41, we had sex ed in 5th, 6th, and 7th grade. It was always a week long, with graphic videos of a woman giving birth and how painful labor is, explaining how embarrassing it is for when a girl gets her first period, why boys get aroused so easily, why girls start puberty earlier than boys, made us take care of a baby for a week (those battery operated ones that cried, needed to be fed, cradled, and all the works!), going over the STDs, etc... Needless to say, we were scared shitless to have sex. They didn't even push abstinence; they made it clear that you should only become sexually active when you feel ready, make sure you take birth control and/or carry condoms, and be safe. Essentially, they prepared us for how hard it would be to have a baby, while you're still a child. We were left knowing that if we felt mature enough to have sex, we sure as hell would have to be ready to raise a child. This was in Alaska. I know each state is different but I can say it was really effective.
wjh100 13
at my school we did it in 5th which was more about puberty then briefly in 7th and 9th and for your second health credit you could take a class called sex and health relationships. my mom also gave me this amazing book called changing bodies changing minds.
Andreh 11
Yeah, because teens need this sort of things to be explained to them by their parents. On the Internet, with their friends, it's uncommon to hear about sex, right? Come on, I never had a sex ed class in school, nor my parents gave me the sex talk, but I still grow up fine. I discover what sex was by myself when I was "old" enough to understand that sort of things. If I needed to I could ask anyone, my parents are not prude or close-minded, but I think people "find out" at some point, especially in this Internet culture. OP's son is just extremely naive, and I just don't get how he, at his age, never heard of sex and how it works. I don't think sex ed in school is wrong, I think it's necessary! But teens (children, in most cases) would understand sex at some point. I just don't blame OP because he thought his son already knew about it. (Sorry for any mistake, English is not my first language)
fed_up_thespian 9
It's the parents' job to give 'the talk'. Ideally, sex ed in schools would be detailed and useful, but even if that was the case everywhere, parents should pretty much always be providing age-appropriate sex ed. When i was 4 i knew babies came when mommies and daddies love each other... By 7 i had a little more specific info, and knew that parents had to decide to do something physical, and that might make a baby. By 10 I knew the biology, and that you wait until you're married (yes, i consider this appropriate at 10, keep reading). Around 13, i got the big bombshell, that marraige isn't necessary, (yup, see, not a scary abstinence thumper) and being careful is, complete with std info. this was all effective. Tl:dr? I knew more than op's son at 7, and that's op's fault, not the school's
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
lilhellian 27
Middle school is usually when it is initially taught.. Then it's usually covered some more in health class..
DudeEvil 22
But still, he is 19. People usually find these things out by word of mouth at the least. Does he not have many friends? Poor kid
jem970 19
I will tell you why. Because there are a lot of parents out there that don't believe that kids need to learn about sex for religious reasons and are having schools take the program out of health class and then don't talk to their kids about it. Parents who don't believe sex before marriage is the devil expect it because it is apart of HEALTH class. Also it is embarrassing to talk to your kid about. And kids don't always listen to their parents.
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
If OP did not want the school to teach them about it they would not have complained about them not doing it. However, that is still not the schools responsibility. If they did not want to have that conversation with their child then they should not have had children.
Laurenlou 24
28- If parents don't want their children to know about sex for "religious reasons," or any reason for that matter, they are just plain stupid. It is more responsible to teach children about such things at the right age. My mother, who is religious, told me before my school did. I knew what a period was before I got it, which was super helpful. And I even asked her questions about my body. It wasn't embarrassing or awkward and it shouldn't be for any child and parent. I wouldn't care if every school took out teaching kids what sex is because that is a parent's job. It's better for a child to hear it from mom and dad than the school or friends. OP- YDI for not giving your son The Talk. The school system is not responsible for such things. You are the parent.
lilhellian 27
Who the hell said they never gave the kid "The Talk?" Just how much do you pay attention to your parents.. I admit I ignore mine 3/4 the time..
emilyisobella 3
That's just plain stupid. I'm religious and intend to fully teach my kids about sex before anyone else does. As a religious person, I want them to understand sex from a religious standpoint otherwise they will eventually hear of it from word of mouth. Every single parent should be the first one to teach their kids about sex/love/girlfriends/boyfriends if the school does it first, you're doing something wrong. And honestly if you're too embarrassed and childish to talk to your own kids about sex you shouldn't be having children.
Frustrated78 11
Not these days..budget cuts.
doctorhook86 25
4: No, but it should be. Why do so many people think that parents can't be ignorant too? Schools are staffed by professional educators, so why not let them educate kids about sex too? Side note: "Abstinence-only sex ed" is shit, and no responsible person should ever endorse it.
jem970 19
Here is how I see it. My school brought it actual educators from planned parenthood and the the local hospital to tell us about sex. My mother has never been able to really answer my questions about sex. I would rather have someone who actually knows what the hell they are talking about teach me. And also just google the damn issue if you think what I am saying is bullshit it is going on all over the country. People want sex Ed pulled out of school because of religious reasons. I'm not crazy here.
israelnotjacob 20
I agree #4. Really sex education shouldn't even be necessary because if you can't get over yourself enough to have an awkward conversation about a subject that's hard to talk about with a kid for the sake of your own child, you're not much of a parent anyway. When my kids get to that age sure they'll just go through the dam class, but I'll have already told them the stuff myself. The school can just give the detailed anatomy crap. The important things about being safe and responsible should already be covered by the parent.
fed_up_thespian 9
I think the problem is that you keep just saying 'religious reasons' in a general way. It is ok to say that this tends to be a conservative Christian viewpoint, as they often say so themselves. These other commenters might feel the need to defend themselves as religious people who aren't anti sex ed. Contrary to frequent internet opinion, Christianity comes in MANY flavors, and 'religious' doesn't just mean Christian. It's not that people don't believe what you're saying, it's that they want you to know it doesn't apply to them, imo.
Queen_of_Night 20
And that's why the Bible Belt has more teen pregnancies than the rest of the US.
Fsvb 32
Okay, so everyone here feels that sex ed SHOULD NOT be necessary. But obviously, IT IS. Can't we just agree on that? You cannot rely on all individuals, that are parents, to do the right thing. Some people just shouldn't be parents, but they are. And some people didn't get sex ed, got children because they didn't know about protection and then you expect them to teach their children about protection? No. That is not how the world works. Sex ed is necessary in schools. There is a reason the USA has the highest teen pregnancy rate. Almost all countries in Europe are obligated to give sex ed and it pays off.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
The school didn't give the full talk, because that is the parents' job. YDI.
lilhellian 27
But schools teach you how people get pregnant.. Atleast here they did..
singer619 2
Your son is 19 and you've never talked to him about sex? Shame on you. Sex ed is supposed to supplement knowledge, not do your job. Be a parent.
rgriff27 19
Aw poor kid. A little naive for 19, but still, that sucks.
taranpreet 7
For some reason I doubt he's a virgin. I dunno why I just doubt it.
Iwillnotpress1 9
I was thinking the same thing
AKGirlinSD 20
I think he's s virgin but has done foreplay, oral, etc (everything but sexual intercourse)... But he probably never stuck his dick in his girlfriend's baby-making hole.
chanellgymnast 17
Always have the sex talk with your children or else something wacky like this happens. Haha. "Wacky".
texashater75 16
Maybe STD should stand for Sex Talk Disorder.
Vivasarous 4
Nice try... But no.