Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
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Top comments
Nalanie 4
Woah OP; sucks for you. Not literally; of course.
Cinn_fml 23
And this is what happens when you have kids, you both become very busy and have to try and fit it in with unexpected interuptions and little time. Just try extra hard to find the time when you're both up for it. Either that or you're complaining because she hasn't tried to initiate it, in which case try yourself.
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Comments (92)
DrummerBoy21 0
This also marks the last time you Dun Goof'd :D
Northerntowngirl 0
communication is the key to a good relationship! grow some balls and talk to her about it!
Camzdad 4
Your wife's sex drive passed with her placenta too, thought it was just mine, by the way my daughter will be 4 years old in 3 months, I have you beat, FML!
wriptidez 0
take her out to nice getaway
denvan 0
If I were you I would be getting it from someone else
dynky 3
children destroy marriages. tell us something we don't know.
Judus_beej 0
palmala handerson. my girl on the side lol
TipOfTheHat 10
keep the daughter! get a new wife!
QuietMayhem 0
Typical of a selfish woman. Good women, who are smart (alot of whom have commented here today) know better. I'll tell you this : if you cheat on her, she'll have the nerve to claim she doesn't know why. FYL
autoacworks 0
your a looser for staying you should cheat on her she is cheating on you for sure