Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
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Top comments
Nalanie 4
Woah OP; sucks for you. Not literally; of course.
Cinn_fml 23
And this is what happens when you have kids, you both become very busy and have to try and fit it in with unexpected interuptions and little time. Just try extra hard to find the time when you're both up for it. Either that or you're complaining because she hasn't tried to initiate it, in which case try yourself.
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Comments (92)
andytheandy 0
wow these status updates never seen so much inexperience in one place. first of all, do not have a discussion about this, one night after the baby is asleep just pull out your penis and be aggressive! I will bet anything she will say " wow I been waiting two years for this". To all these ugly kids on here giving advice, go breast feed, you ugly twits. lmao
Hisbabyforever 0
yes it's his daughter, but he hasn't had sex since she was conceived.
feetupsidedown 0
If it's been more than three months, it's not cheating... Assuming she's aware you're not happy...
asherah14 7
You're an idiot! No where in the wedding vows does it say "3 months without sex means cheating isn't cheating and is accepted." I pray no one every falls in love with you and decides to marry you.
ShaneP504 0
someone give this joker a medal hahaha
suffokateslowly 0
f that after the first month i would have divorced haha
lovethejoker440 0
boo hoo
Commanderd 0
I bet she's one of those women who only sees sex as something you do to get babies...
thatguy_91 4
in canucks defense i think he was assuming tht the OP thought the baby was someone else's now with that being said, canucks you're still retarded for assuming that because he said "today is MY daughter's first birthday." Next time you try to humiliate someone, make sure you get your own facts straight. and please don't ever reproduce
Jstnwalt 0
I feel your pain!
northernlass 7
I'm with the OP's wife on this one. I've promised my husband that once a baby comes out of it, nothing else will ever go INTO it again. He really wants sex; I really don't want children. As long as I don't get pregnant, everybody wins. Hurrah for the wife, holding out. Her body, hormones, career and self-esteem are probably shot - why should her husband get to keep having sex after putting her through that?
Hikarishimizu 13
I completely agree with you
jamesbrown67119 0
Hmm... just because a baby was born doesn't mean it was unwanted. And pregnancy isn't something husbands "put their wife through". If a child isn't planned and the wife gets pregnant the husband doesn't go around his buddies giving them high fives. It's basically just as shitty for them as it is for the wife. I feel bad for your husband.
Cinn_fml 23
Tbf she has told her husband this, so he has had the chance to make his choice. Also, you have valid points with the rest of your comment, but people view things differently, and as long as everyone's had the chance to make their decisions based on the other person's views then I don't see why there would/should be a problem.