Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nalanie 4
Woah OP; sucks for you. Not literally; of course.
Cinn_fml 23
And this is what happens when you have kids, you both become very busy and have to try and fit it in with unexpected interuptions and little time. Just try extra hard to find the time when you're both up for it. Either that or you're complaining because she hasn't tried to initiate it, in which case try yourself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
blahzz 4
I feel bad for you man. Try and do something about it now before you feel the need to stray. Your hand can only handle so much haha.
gonzaval 0
That sucks. .....
mkcempa 0
win(:
Oxford_Comma20 0
Maybe she should speak with a doctor. This could be a sign of postpartum depression. If there's nothing medically wrong with her, then it sounds like it's time to have a serious chat, possibly with a marriage counselor.
applejane 3
well YOU try shovin a kid out a 3 inch hole and then see if YOU still feel like gettin it on.
xOashleymarie 0
that's what happens when you get married...
ultra_notorious 26
It's time to get out or find something on the side to satisfy your needs.
lpboy03 0
With your wife ;) haha
Trilly123 10
'since I last had sex...with my wife'
ForYourEyesOnly 0
Bummer.... Get on dat man!!!!!! Be like yo for real hop on my dick!!!!!