Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
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Top comments
Nalanie 4
Woah OP; sucks for you. Not literally; of course.
Cinn_fml 23
And this is what happens when you have kids, you both become very busy and have to try and fit it in with unexpected interuptions and little time. Just try extra hard to find the time when you're both up for it. Either that or you're complaining because she hasn't tried to initiate it, in which case try yourself.
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Comments (92)
Luke1717 0
??so? she wants to have kids she doesn't do it for pleasure. she's waiting for when she wants to have another kid( if she does want more)
meteor_stream 9
Women like the ones that you described always make me cringe. Sex is an important part of a relationship that allows you to bond with your partner, so, if OP's wife really wanted a kid, there would be more use of her if she just went to a goddamn sperm bank for artificial insemination =__=
Nadinek98 0
boo hoo u *****
JCBaseball13 6
dont hate just cuz u cant get a guy near u
tigobitties_x3 0
lmao damn
Sh0wT1M3 0
JOHNSON & JOHNSON lotion Herr I come lmao
zimbry 0
yahh the year she has been alive and the nine months in the womb.
Anndres 0
hahahaha
katie_656 0
ouch op !
Lulu714 0
awhhh happy birthday to your daughter!!!
anniev 0
ouch!
mschrisaya 4
you push a kid out you twat