Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm sure any plumber would love to charge you $200 an hour to fix it the day before Thanksgiving.
killersmoesje 0
poop
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Comments (61)
lifesfailure 4
As my name would imply, I am an abject failure.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds disgusting. It's illustrative of how life is in general; you expect great things, but end up receiving nothing but excrement. And now all of your guests will be miserable, and not just because you're a lousy host. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
DocBastard 40
Poetic justice at its finest.
_TONGAN_ 5
dig ten holes outside, name all ten, and put cardboard box seats with holes in the middle! wala problem solved...
rallets 23
are they all gonna take showers?
rallets 23
it could be sludge from all those people taking laxatives
Nutz321 0
Marvin_Android, where have you been? I was starting to miss you.
Nailbunny 4
You don't plan on having dinner in the bathroom do you?
killersmoesje 0
poop
cagj 0
probably all over the place
talldude4u 3
I hope your family and friends can hold it. xD
hiloman500 0
or get to your backyard in time...
DocBastard 40
I'm sure any plumber would love to charge you $200 an hour to fix it the day before Thanksgiving.
nathan5 0
You can serve that sludge as a gravy-type condiment!
Selena_is_back 7
Get a plumber and stare at his ass all day long.
Doopliss01 0
Now that's what I call a shitty situation.
giantsfan2010 23
Fail
georggx 3
lifes a bitch and then you die. I'm 14 and even iv already realised that life is a bitch.
sallen0046 4
You're even more ignorant than you seem if you think anyone is going to take advice from the likes of you. Try to grasp the complexities of spelling and grammar before you start dishing out words of "wisdom" about life.
georggx 3
advice? I'm not giving no advice. and I would appreciate it if you didn't say that I was 'ignorant' you don't no me and what I have been through. so shut up. k, thanks.
koolkat27 13
36- In your profile it says you love your life. Why don't you just shut up since you're making a fool out of yourself.
teentee401 37
"I'm not giving no advice." "You don't no me." Yeah, I think he should feel free to call you ignorant.
blahzz 4
Sludge. Haha. Funny sounding word.
samicna 4
port a potty!