Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
That's not marriage that's roommates.
Hangryko 32
Have you ever talked with her about it?
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Comments (8)
JackWood 21
That's not marriage that's roommates.
Hangryko 32
Have you ever talked with her about it?
sch00ln3rd 11
How did you last so long?!
RichardPencil 32
That'd be a good middle name if your first name were Blow or Hand.
Jesse Duff 15
was she drunk when she dated you the entire time, was she drunk when she said yes, cause something is very off
Iamthebanzai22 21
Do you honestly think that 'patience' is the right strategy here? I would recommend you rather go for '**** this shit, I deserve better'.
Chiefanatic 2
No shit!
XRP123 11
Unless you are a cat, you only get one life. Move on.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
Have you tried initiating sex yourself? My now-ex-husband used to complain that he wasn't getting enough sex. HE NEVER SUGGESTED SEX. He thought I was supposed to do all the initiating. He thought that if he just shaved and combed his hair or some such, I should be inspired to pounce on him. To this day, I have no idea why he thought that. If you're initiating and she always turns you down, I get it. If you're not initiating and just sitting around being "patient," don't complain.