Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
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Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
Harsh for the first time, but I wish I could think up comebacks that fast. Mine always come like 30 seconds later, which, is not really a long time, but it is to have a 30 second break in a conversation.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
THINK OF DE CHILDRUN!!
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Comments (35)
Hannah_fml 0
Harsh for the first time, but I wish I could think up comebacks that fast. Mine always come like 30 seconds later, which, is not really a long time, but it is to have a 30 second break in a conversation.
Zpain777 0
lol how do you know it wasn't her first time having sex.. she said a guy
Peachy2392 26
She specifically said it was her first time.
arms_akimbo 0
You're all sweaty. Get over it.
wulf 0
Isn't being all stinky after sex a good thing? next time do it in the shower so you don't have to worry about it
Timmytwofinger 0
he didn't go down on you? what the **** is wrong with this guy? eating pussy is ******* awesome!
ElCordova16 2
it was gay sex... xD
Cooter_Brown 0
I'm with #21, I love to go down on girls, you would have to be horribly unclean for him to smell your ****** without going down on you
jsmith1199 4
ew. i vote u try deodorant
shibsterrr 2
screw that...that chick should of at least douched or somethin...
loftobot 0
are you also a guy?
pinklady_fml 0
wow i wouldve told him to get out and made him leave thats just not right
reddilocks 0
damn get out of there. first sign that he is chump change