Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
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Top comments
loveyouall81 2
noob
mintcar 10
Ew, be gentle. You're not supposed to go at it like that.
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Comments (227)
loveyouall81 2
noob
Horde 8
He probably learned that from **** movies.
BayBeezy 0
someone should make a pussy-eating informational....
neftajr 0
munch munch
seanders 10
Tell her to explain the sour cream then....
nocanhaz 4
54 Win
techweed 12
37 would kinda be disturbing when watching it with parents and/or younger kids
supertacowaffle 41
54 EPIC !!;D
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
it is a taco eating competition. :)
wolve86 0
just go through the alphabet with your tongue a couple of times. don't be the fricking cookie monster about it.
irondarkdog 0
win
grumpybarista 0
The alphabet? So amateur.
EatnBeef 7
blue waffle? or red pancake?!?!!! oh wait!... green FRENCHTOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dinkledorf 0
No... give up.
sweeetas 5
135- its more like cheese taco, everyone go google image that now and thank me later. hah
supertacowaffle 41
haha 91 :D
AceArctic 4
Sigh. Shoulda used the Tongue Tornado... -.-
TheKeatonator 5
Nom nom nom xD haha what a noob
cdatribe23 0
HAHAHAHA LMAO
RedPillSucks 33
ohhh Do eating indian tacos count?
gamerhead 3
66 Possibly........
iTerrorized 4
As long as they got no beans in them ..
ctbabyy 0
Hahah, win for your girll. i would SO say that..
Socoollikee 3
LMFAO!! I know right!
lazer_keyboard 0
... What?
breena25 0
NOM NOM NOM NOM!!
metal8214 0
mmm yummy :)
goaliemkl123 8
I guess lazer keyboard doesn't get out much
gabstahhh 8
he needs to chill ooouuutt.
hoodsie 0
First timer? ;)
MasterE56 4
wow...
Lufferkinz 0
I wonder what blue tacos would taste like.....
jmac317 0
win^
pablothepenguin 2
L.M.A.O. why don't you ask his girlfriend she seems to be quite intrested in tacos.
SuperBigJrBang 5
:o a blueberry waffle! Makes me hungry
Slinkydalatg 6
....twat waffle.
africanelephants 7
hahaha oh wow that's gross..... but delicious at the same time.. :/
Aethereality 10
Om nom nom.
PvtParts417 15
Blue waffle is for pussys. Look up red pancake.
mintcar 10
Ew, be gentle. You're not supposed to go at it like that.
yazmi_09 3
right! I cringed a bit when I read this
IStoleTheCookies 16
are you a nun o_O
meowmeowwkitty 0
unless she wanted it rough... which it sounds like wasn't the case, and niether for you.... don't give advice when everyone has their own style
Bananaque 0
wow!! well, you can't blame the girl... she knows what she wants!
meowmeowwkitty 0
good for her!!! ;)
Capt_Oblivious 10
Ah yes, I remember my first time as well.
Deitsu 1
Your pic makes me ROTFL xD
kotabones 0
I prefer captain obvious as my personal hero lil
denlillakotten 4
Yo girlfriend taste like taco? :)
mandoalba 5
lol that's a good one
gabstahhh 8
eww haha I hope not..
piehunter1 0
I love tacos I would hope she tastes like tacos :D