Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
estarrr 2
haha less than 3.. <3 anybody else get that? :D
happy_dino 6
I did! lol nice(;
ken328 0
have you counted your relatives kisses?
alexaluvee 0
oh boohoo. I've spent 0 seconds kissing and I've bern able to keep myself together. YDI for being ungrateful
Jizwold 0
ya but ur like ten haha
Erindub 0
Aww...I pity you. Everytime that commercial comes on my boyfriend grabs me and kisses me.
Erindub 0
to Muffinkitty...its special when you're with someone whi IS special and worth it...no matter how many times you've kissed someone or slept with someone before. Trust me
guitardedman 0
god i hate seeing all the ******* 15 year olds on here acting like they know dick about life.. high school isn't the ******* real world, what you have to say doesnt matter. what i have to say doesn't matter, but i know that, and hate everyone. OP, don't feel bad nigga, someday you'll meet someone worth spending 20,000 minutes on. just be glad you haven't wasted that much time on a relationship that hasn't worked out.
skyttlz 32
I'm 16 and I've probably spent a lil over an hour
hannahispiiimp 0
well same here. but i'm a freshman. but that would suck if you were like old... hahah i'm sorry..
claiiire_fml 17
Well then SxyDinosaurRAWR, that means that you're a ****. You're only 14 you hoebag.
DeathShad0 1
Society is so ridiculously obsessed with love it makes me want to live in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my life.