Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
andrew935 0
I'm only 15 and I've spent like 810 minutes. ahead of the game? I think so haha :D
Geiko_fml 0
That's like, man *****. Lol.
the_flirtt 0
mono is ugly just be careful
the_flirtt 0
u can't get an STD from kissing
pingpongpenguin 3
49 is saying that if someone that young is kissing that much then soon they will be doing other things and getting std's. but can't you get it if you kiss someone who has it on their mouth?
WhyTheFace4 0
Herpes?
pingpongpenguin 3
you're welcome :)
idkmyusername 0
you can get aids from kissing to, u better be carefull
anorexicbarbie 8
102 You can't. Unless you both have sores in your mouth.
WTF_FML_FTW 0
I have aids on this comment. by reading it you now have aids.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
You don't automatically get AIDS. You get HIV first. Then, when your T-cell count goes way down, and your viral load goes sky high, it turns into full blown AIDS. To get HIV from kissing, you would have to ingest around 8 gallons of your HIV positive partner's saliva. Or, they would have to have a bleeding sore in their mouth, and you would have to have a gaping wound in yours. And for herpes, you can transmit herpes from just kissing. But, the form you WILL get from kissing is just cold soars. I wouldn't worry about STDs from kissing, but if you're a so called kissing "*****," have fun when you get Mononucleosis.(:
iamboored 0
wtfff??
missfyl 0
cause your a *****
5t3ff1k4h 47
OP - I'm pretty sure those statistics don't apply to you yet. Isn't it something like, the average person kisses for 20,000 minutes in their lifetime? I highly doubt you're that old.
rd_404 0
I saw the commercial before. lol
musicman226 0
Number 4 shut the hell up...that is bs because nobody keeps track of every time they have kissed and if you have you don't need to tell the whole f-ing world
Schizomaniac 24
I remember when I tried commenting for the first time.
Toxxic_Blackout 0
atleast they didn't reply under someone else's comment.
skatingalyy 0
it's probably not even true anyway...
andrew935 0
20 are you talking about me being a man *****?
Geiko_fml 0
Hell yeah baby! Wooo! Go me! Hahah. Yeah right.
idkmyusername 0
if ur gunna argue about it he shoulda called you a boy *****
04VWR32 6
maybe try a different gum
dominicanchick27 0
lol
Steve95401 49
OP should try chewing Dentyne and having better smelling breath - it couldn't hurt.
xoxocandy 0
LOL YES!
megitts 0
in their whole life time...your probably 12! don't worry... unless your 21 and it hasn't changed
sammccormick 0
16 and probably over 1000:p but all with the same girl I had a like 9 month relationship with so don't be calling me a Mann *****
megitts 0
um I wasn't...
andrew935 0
haha thanks for clearing that up for me 30